Brand Mascot Yearbook Superlatives

Ever wonder what your favorite (and least favorite) brand mascots would have been like in high school? Well...here you go:

Geico Gecko: Most likely to fake a foreign accent to pick up girls.

Are you surprised that he used to be voiced by Kelsey Grammer?

Chester Cheetah: Most likely to accumulate 3 felony charges before graduation.

It starts at sunglasses indoors, and ends at a crack house.

The fall from the top is always the hardest.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop: Mostly likely to experiment with guys during their first year of college.

Snap, crackle, pop, spank.

Butter Maiden: Most likely to get type-casted.

She still doesn't know why she didn't get the gig with Domino's.

Morton Salt Girl: Most likely to forget her kids at aftercare.

I'm so silly.

Snuggle Detergent Bear: Most likely to have a scary, dark side.

Mr. Clean: Most likely to have an affair with a married male Senator...

and talk about it on The View afterwards.

Coppertone Girl: Most likely to devirginize the whole high school football defensive line.

...and to have a membership at L.A. Tan.

Trix Rabbit: Most likely to hate children.

Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!!!

Michelin Man: Most likely to use humor to hide his insecurities...

...and most likely to eat his feelings.

Mr. Peanut: Most likely to make you feel bad about yourself through the use of seemingly interminable decadent vocabulary.

Would you plebians like a peanut?

Uncle Ben: Most likely to hate his job.

Colonel Sanders: Most likely to be a dick to Uncle Ben.

Chuck E. Cheese: Most likely to be the only rodent to represent a food company.

There is no trap here.

Papa John: Most likely to have 3 illegitimate children with 3 different women before 30....

...and deny that they are his children...He can't be Papa to everyone!!!

Poppin' Fresh: Most likely to expose himself at an elementary school.

Nothing but a hat, a scarf, and little shame.

Dinky: Most likely to not live in Arizona.

"Screw those racists....yo quiero vivir en California." -Dinky

Quaker Oats Man: Most likely to try wearing a fedora...

and look like an ass.

Ronald McDonald: Most likely to star in film adaptation of a Stephen King novel.

(I apologize.)

Vlasic Stork: Most likely to always be a bachelor.

Energizer Bunny: Most likely to over-dose.

Jack in the Box: Most likely to become a sociopath.

Burger King: Most likely to give Jack in the Box a run for his money in the creep department.

"Do you want me to super size this?"

Kool-Aid Man: Most likely to black out at his Sigma Chi initiation.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! OHHHH YEAAAH!

Nesquik Bunny: Most likely to be an extra in Space Jam.

Look he's right there in the crowd!

Jared: Most likely to eat his way to the top.

Sun Maid: Most likely to become a wino.

I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle.

Green Giant: Most Fashionable...and Best Hair

Green is the new black.

M&M: Most likely to become a rapper.

Black on the inside.