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1. You know AT LEAST one hostess who...em...earns her free food at work.
2. You know that....reservations don't really matter.
3. You have 2 resumes: one for real world jobs and one for restaurant jobs.
4.
5. Your reaction when someone who had already ordered asks to move to a booth:
6. But inside....
7. Your reaction when you see someone pass the host stand....and seat themselves.
8. You have worked with a busser that makes every moment creepy:
9. During a 4 hour rush, you have no shame stuffing your face with the free bread.
10. When some asks you if you can drink at work, you swiftly reply....
11. You constantly use phrases like: '3 top,' '64 covers,' and 'tip-out.'
12. You have eaten off a plate of someone's left-overs.
13. You know being a host is the best restaurant job, because when that 5 top comes in 2 minutes before the kitchen closes, you are out the door.
14. You have a proficient level of Spanish thanks to the BOH staff.
15. You know the golden rule of restaurants....WHAT HAPPENS IN THE KITCHEN, STAYS IN THE KITCHEN
16. And that mostly consists of talking shit about the guy who keeps sending back his steak.
17. Most of your co-workers are in improv groups and want to be actors.
18. ...but you know they are actually pretty good actors, as they always pull off 'chipper'...while hungover.
19. You know that while some waiters are like this....
20. ...you really only know ones like this.
21. At the end of the day, no matter how poor you are, when you receive your cash tips, you feel like:
22. And whenever you go out to eat, you apologize for anything you ask of the staff.
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