20 Things That Freak New Yorkers Out When They're Out Of Town

Why is everyone smiling at me?!

You're going on vacation or something! Good for you.

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For some reason, you're leaving for a few days. Or months. Or you're moving away. (Whatever.) You've packed what's probably your entire apartment, you've gotten on your plane/train/automobile and now you're at your destination.

And everything is strange, unsettling, and terrible.

1. Silence.

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What was that? Oh my god, something's going to kill me in my sleep.

2. Space.

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Ughhh the store I want to go to is so far.

3. RENT!

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The room's $400 a month? Wow, not bad.

Wait, for the entire APARTMENT?

4. Smiling strangers.

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Umm... can I help you?

5. Eye contact.

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Please don't start talking to me.

6. Night life.

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Last call is at 1 am? But that's when I'm getting ready to leave the apartment...

7. Public transportation.

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It's not 24 hours? But how will I get home shitfaced?

8. Liquor store hours.

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What do you mean it's closed on Sundays?!

9. Food prices.

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$2.00 for a sandwich? I'll take four, please.

10. Driving/Traffic.

Where are all the sidewalks?

11. Pedestrians.

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Why does everyone look like I committed a mortal sin? There were no cars coming!

12. Accents that aren't your own.

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It's pronounced CAWFEE.

13. Pizza.

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Yeah, yeah. We're picky about our pizza. This tastes like school cafeteria lunch.

14. Bagels.

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That's just a glorified dinner roll.

15. Bugs.

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Yeah, we know how to deal with bedbugs and roaches and other absolutely disgusting vermin, but WHAT THE HELL IS THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE. IT DOES NOT BELONG IN YOUR KITCHEN.

16. Skylines.

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That's downtown? Pfft.

Oh wow, I can see so many stars!

17. Tailgating/Football.

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So you have a car... and you have a BBQ picnic out of the back of your car? AWESOME!

New Yorkers love football too, but it seems like it doesn't get as much attention as baseball. You other states REALLY love football.

18. Clean public restrooms. Clean public anything.

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I can USE this and it's not broken?

19. Tap water.

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You don't drink tap water?! Why the hell not?

Oh... That's why.

20. Slow walkers.

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I swear I'm a nice person, but I really, really want to punch you in the back of your head right now. MOVE!