3. When you couldn’t find the kitchen scissors, you used bandage scissors.
4. You were never able to successfully fake being sick.
Mom or Dad have been through too much training to be duped.
5. You had a Fisher-Price Medical Kit and replaced your stethoscope with your mom or dad’s…
6. …and then had to “buy” them a new one via chores when you broke it.
7. Playing “Hospital” was your favorite childhood game.
And the youngest child was ALWAYS the patient.
8. You knew your parent’s colleagues by their initials: D.O; M.D.; D.D.S.; B.S.N, R.N.; and others.
9. You knew the difference between a bacterial and a viral infection, and you hated people for taking Z-packs for colds.
Like, do those other kids not realize what “antibiotic resistance” is?
10. When you said you had diarrhea, they asked to see it, and then corrected you by saying you actually had soft stool.
One required electrolytes, and the other meant you can keep drinking soda.
11. They always had to work during hurricanes, big storms, and major holidays.
12. If you were sick and went to the doctor, they had a list of all your previous medications, foods, and pain levels.
From every hour, on the hour, for the past 24 hours.
13. When you said you threw up, you were corrected as having “vomited” and then proceeded to answer questions about its color and consistency.
14. Their pockets always held treasures, like 3M tape, alcohol swabs, bandage scissors, and even hard candies.
15. If you ever had to go to the ER, it wasn’t for side pain. It was pain in the upper right quadrant.
Laymen’s words are for laymen.
16. You closely read “Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics” as a preteen, because it felt less awkward to learn about the changes in your body from a book than your parent.
17. You could look at a diagram of a woman’s reproductive system and explain where babies come from to your friends.
18. You have Hibiclens, or some other antimicrobial soap, in your house.
19. The majority of your school fundraisers were sold at the nurse’s station.
20. You had to listen to someone complain how unrealistic hospital dramas are. Especially how the bedrails were down too often.
21. And they taught you everything, like if a friend was experiencing pain, you asked them to describe it on a scale of 1-10.
If it was an ache, burning, or throbbing pain, or if it was constant or in intervals. And then you finally concluded it was just a hangover.