21 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Are Failing

Have you looked at Halloween costumes for women recently? There's a sexy version of everything. Nothing is safe, and everything is stupid.

1. Dirty Caterpillar!

This one shows the gentleman you haven't transformed into a girl who knows her self-worth yet!

2. Slutty, slutty George Washington!

She's ready to chop down your cherry tree.

3. Smokin' Hot Mechanic!

She sure looks like she knows how to use those tools, har har.

4. Sexy Sesame Street!

Ambiguously-gay children's programming characters are sooooo hot.

5. More Sexualized Childhood Memories!

Danny DeVito, voice of the Lorax, is sexier than this costume.

6. Trampy Troll Doll!

Fucking seriously? You can't find any other costume you'd like to wear? How about Rainbow Brite, if you need to sex up an 80's childhood toy?

7. Skanky Mime!

A step up from slutty Clown, but only a touch less creepy.

8. Executioner Hottie!

Why not go a step further and wear a full face hood? Then those one-night stands will be truly anonymous.

9. Sassy Mega-Doppler (doesn't that sound kinda dirty?)

That model sure is working it! Too bad this costume isn't slutty enough to be worn by actual TV weather girls.

10. Day-ger!

Dumb. It took a few minutes to even figure out what the hell this meant.

11. Dead Sexy!

Cultural appropriation is such a turn-on.

12. Horny Honey Badger!

The video it's inspired by? Hilarious. This costume? Hideous.

13. Hot Cock!

Nothing like a lady dressed as a fiery cock.

14. Nasty Poodle!

This is one waxed poodle.

15. One-Eyed Monst... Nevermind, its an Octopus.

The tentacles are the sexiest part. Dudes love extra appendages on a woman.

There are so many terrible sexy-animal costumes. There could be a whole other post dedicated solely to them.

16. Broad Games! (See what I did there?....)

How clever. Her "box" is shown, for those who failed anatomy class!

17. Does this costume come with instructions for Strip Scrabble?

There are no words.

18. "Wood Chipper"!

Watch out, boys! She'll gnaw on your wood!

19. Hot (Buttered) Corn!

I don't even know where to start. This could arguably be the biggest fail.

20. Sizzlin' Burger-lady!

The lacy lettuce adds a nice feminine touch to this outfit. This costume proves that women dress to mainly appeal to men on Halloween. Unfortunately, ladies, there were no Bacon costumes on this website.

21. Yay! Bacon-dreams do come true!

Thank god for choices. And bacon. Happy Halloween, whores!

Go ahead and dress like a skank for Halloween. It's fun, I know. There are alternatives though....

Ladies, please post your Bruce Willis costumes below.