1. Don’t travel this Labor Day.
33 million plan to travel on Labor Day. I’m more interested in how many plan on having sex! Home or away, doesn’t matter.— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
2. Eat walnuts.
Men, want stronger sperm? Eat walnuts http://t.co/YSFCC62u Walnuts = better nuts.— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
3. Sleep with an inmate.
John Lennon’s killer allowed conjugal visits. These help maintain prison behavior. Makes sense: frustrated prisoners = trouble— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
If you’re having rough time, I suggest a conjugal visit will fix you right up!— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
4. Don’t be too loud in the bedroom. Because of bats.
Did u know flies make noise when having sex. Bats know this & they hone in on them. If u don’t want bats in your bedroom, shhh— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
5. Don’t buy from Ikea.
Uh oh, Ikea going into hotel business. By time you build your bed there’ll be no time for sex!— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
6. Don’t watch Shark Week.
For those who missed my Tweet of last wk I said Shark Week wasn’t good as foreplay as penises don’t respond well to shark attacks— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
7. Consider the needs of your partner. For example, don’t let him or her lick bug repellent off you.
If you’re afraid of West Nile & use a lot of repellent, shower before sex. Don’t want lover licking or kissing toxic skin— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
8. Speaking of bugs, don’t have sex outside.
There are mosquitoes testing positive for West Nile virus. Maybe safer to stay indoors having sex, no?— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
9. She means it.
Yes having sex outside is “green” but just make sure none of that green is poison ivy!— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
10. But if you must…
Those having sex outdoors, no kissing or licking I suppose.— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
11. Kiss, for the people of Uganda.
People in Uganda are urged not to kiss to avoid getting Ebola virus. Good advice but rest of us have to make up kissing deficit— Dr. Ruth Westheimer
12. And be creative!
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- Congressional Democrats are urging the TSA to change its screening procedures for transgender passengers. ›