1. Don’t travel this Labor Day.
2. Eat walnuts.
3. Sleep with an inmate.
4. Don’t be too loud in the bedroom. Because of bats.
5. Don’t buy from Ikea.
6. Don’t watch Shark Week.
7. Consider the needs of your partner. For example, don’t let him or her lick bug repellent off you.
8. Speaking of bugs, don’t have sex outside.
9. She means it.
10. But if you must…
11. Kiss, for the people of Uganda.
12. And be creative!