1. Pre-Black Friday: Assemble a perfectly synchronized shopping unit.
But also don’t forget to limber up.
2. Pre-Black Friday: Evenly divide your wish lists among store departments for your team.
For example: Uncle Ted’s in electronics, significant other has audio, niece is weaving through the photo department, and so on.
3. Pre-Black Friday: Agree on one of these.
In case phones die, people get lost, whatever the issue may be. It’s just good planning.
4. Black Friday: Stay aware.
“Doorbuster” sales don’t actually require busting doors.
5. Black Friday: Lock arms if someone tries to cut.
Not today, buddy. Not today.
6. Recovery Weekend: Consume massive amounts of ThanksTurking Sandwiches.
The basics: turkey, cranberry sauce, and stuffing on sliced bread.
Optional: mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, etc.
7. Recovery Weekend: Remember to hide all of your excellent presents.
Optional: fake hiding spots to keep giftees off your trail.
8. Recovery Weekend: Lounge real hard.
Only thing you’re shopping for is a nap.
9. Recovery Weekend: Talking about real hard.
Just settle into those blankets, watch some tube, maybe make another sandwich. You’ve got to get your strength up for Monday.
10. Cyber Monday Eve: Leisurely research Cyber Monday deals.
Don’t browse for more than 10 minutes at a time and risk straining yourself. Browse time shouldn’t cut into lounge time.
11. Cyber Monday Morning: Schedule meetings to secretly shop online with co-workers.
However, you probably won’t have to worry about solicitors since you’re at an office.
12. Cyber Monday Morning: Make your background a screenshot of windows you keep open while you work.
Then minimize your shopping windows and be “back at work” instantaneously.
13. Cyber Monday Shopping: Ask co-workers outside the meeting for some favors.
In exchange for taking care of their wish lists, get them to keep the boss entertained, drop off a coffee pot, deliver mail, whatever keeps the distraction going.
14. Cyber Monday Shopping: Don’t forget to split up wish lists again.
Everything will go faster for everyone, promise.