"Yes I meant that I had 46 drinks of alcohol this week."
A brave comedian has come forth to show you the light.
Gym is bae. (And also sometimes a bitch.)
"Thanks to 'Adultz Bop,' my commute to work has become a commute to twerk!"
Less "groupies and after parties", more "6 a.m. starts and peeing on the side of the road".
It's good to know.
A nary a flag pin in sight.
This quiz is about 96.5% accurate.
Which is you. Duh.
"Do you pee in the shower?"
She just gets you.
It's a love story baby just say yes.
The guide suggests replacing the word "rich" with "person of material wealth" and "poor" with "low economic status related to a person's education, occupation and income."
No one wants to end up with a mouthful of soap.
History is made.
Summer, party of one?
As Tom Cruise makes the publicity rounds for Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, there's no trace of his couch-jumping public implosion. But can those of us who knew him as the greatest star on earth ever shake the catastrophe of the last 10 years?
A new report shows how hackers not only spread easy tutorials on how to hack web cams on YouTube, but also make money off Google Ads running alongside them. Google gets a share of the profits too.
"I don't see you as the type to listen to that."
It's one of the fastest-growing business software companies of all time. But a number of its small business customers tell a story that shows the risks of astronomical growth.
No, it's not Long Island.
In her 33-page decision, a New York judge dismissed a case that sought to give chimpanzees the same rights as people, but noted that efforts to do so may some day succeed.
My partner and I recently closed on a home in the Ingleside neighborhood of San Francisco. Here's what I discovered while house-hunting in this expensive-ass city.
Would you be able to win your baby brother back?
Long Island Iced Tea? Sure thing, garbage person!
I need answers, NOW.
FIND SOME SHOES, PEOPLE.
Are you acing life or do you need some time with a tutor?
Land of the free and home of the lumbersexuals.
You can't spell team without womyn.
Only one way to find out.
They're doing it for Little Women, so why not these other favorites?
Everyone gets a miracle.
When spell check has no solutions for you.
"Here's the confusion, unconfused: I don't know what I'm going to do about Rio next year," the U.S. Women's soccer star said during a community event at Citi Field.
Most... but not all!
The trade in stolen antiquities from Syria funds all sides of the civil war that has engulfed the country. BuzzFeed News' Mike Giglio traveled along its porous border with Turkey to meet the people involved in this black market, from grave robbers and excavators to middlemen and dealers.
Because nobody's favorite was Pokémon Yellow.
In the past several weeks, the Center for Medical Progress — using secretly recorded videos — has accused Planned Parenthood of profiting from selling tissue from aborted fetuses to biotech companies.
University of Cincinnati officers David Lindenschmidt and Phillip Kidd, who arrived on scene shortly after Samuel Dubose was fatally shot, have been placed on leave. Ray Tensing, who is accused of killing Dubose, posted bond and left jail Thursday.
The question is to what end will Mullah Akhmat Mansour lead the former rulers of Afghanistan?
Colombia’s Constitutional Court hosted a parade of international voices in a day-long forum on marriage equality, suggesting that it feels it must choose a side in a global debate not just national law.
Three days after Nikki Turner was found dead in a Mount Vernon, New York, holding cell, her husband remains in the dark about how she died.
The new Apple TV is headed to market along with an App Store of its own. Next step: that long-in-the-offing subscription internet-TV service.
Jan Bledsoe is trying to convict the police officers accused of killing Freddie Gray. But she once defended Gray — and he was unsatisfied with her representation.
The high-end fitness chain pulled in $112 million in revenue last year by providing an "inspirational, meditative fitness experience."
"We did that in the context of the Gang of Eight bill [in the Senate]," Jindal said of a 2013 op-ed that supported a possible pathway to citizenship. "We were trying to rally conservatives to stop that bad bill, and they did, to their credit."
"It was only a matter of time" before one of the university's officers shot and killed someone, one local said.
"We will not be dictated to of how best to run the campaign or how best to move forward with our plan to make America great again."
The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service has asked the dentist who killed Cecil to come forward. The State Department said yesterday it was "saddened" by the lion's death.
When you wish upon a hunk...
"In the end, we are all human and love is what matters."
"Your not atriative yur very agly"
It doesn't get much worse than almost vomiting on Ryan Gosling.
Have you ever bought something and realized it looked way worse at home than it did in the dressing room? ME. TOO.
"Is it that difficult for you to get an erection that you need to kill things?"
It's time to pick a side: Are you a woe or a monster?
People who have to ride escalators are rightly freaking out in the wake of the recent fatality.
Don't even think about touching the radio.
Black and blue and you all over.
It's a lifestyle.
I can't believe I have to explain this again.
Welcome to the real world, where you realize you don't know how to do anything.
"OK, you know what, ma’am? You can deal with it yourself," the dispatcher told a woman who was trying to save her dying friend.
"You go take a nap, have a Red Bull, how about that?"
Fail binds humanity together.
Here's what the internet does when it thinks you killed a lion.
"OK, now I'm getting pissed off. I'm not happy with this."
The coolest teacher on TV recently showed up on an episode of Girl Meets World, and now we know everything we've always wanted.
The boys, ages 5 and 7, suffered second- and third-degree burns while at a water park with their day care. WARNING: Graphic burn photos.
*chokes to death on tray of pink goop*
Girl, move on.
I mean, it's pretty obvious where you last did the nasty.
"Gimme gimme gimme!" —your kitchen
The daughter of singer Bobby Brown and the late Whitney Houston died on Sunday, six months after being found unconscious in the bathtub of her home. Officials have ordered an autopsy.
A cause we can all get behind.
"Yes I have [loose] skin and stretch marks but I don't feel the need to show them in every single photo I post online," she wrote.
For everyone who hasn't gotten their Hogwarts letter yet.