28 Thoughts Every Cyclist Has

Motorists hate cyclists, that's no secret. But here are some things that really grind OUR gears. And other things that go through our minds on the bike.

1. IT'S CALLED "SHARE THE ROAD"

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Now that we've cleared this up.

2. Calm your tits.

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Being an asshole won't make me stop riding, so you might as well get over yourself.

3. Could you have possibly come ANY closer while you passed me?

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Yes, you're allowed to pass us. It's encouraged. BUT AT LEAST GIVE ME MORE THAN A FOOT OF SPACE BETWEEN MY BIKE AND YOUR THOUSAND POUND MOVING VEHICLE.

4. GOD, PASS ALREADY THERE'S LIKE 8 MILES OF ADDITIONAL LANES AND NO ONCOMING TRAFFIC WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME

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Trust me, driving super close behind me isn't going to make me go any faster. Just pass me already.

5. Yeah, I know I'm cool with my shades and spandex.

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It's okay to look at our butts, we know you are anyway.

6. Oh this sucks, this sucks so bad.

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Headwinds are satan. Flats are the worst. Oh, you ran out of water? I'm so tired. Shoot me now plz.

7. Why do I keep doing this to myself

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I've got something seriously wrong with me if I keep putting myself through such agony.

8. I hate the wind

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Sometimes it seems like the wind is out to get you.

9. I hate the sun

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100 spf can only do so much.

10. I hate the cold

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Some people love riding in the cold, some people hate it, some people don't care either way. I, for one, h.a.t.e it.

11. I hate everything

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12. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

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There are some rides that probably never should have even been taken tbh. We have bad days too.

13. How will I survive the rest of this ordeal?

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Because sometimes you're 30 miles from home and you're totally exhausted, but you still have to ride the 30 miles back.

14. Why do you keep staring at me like you've never seen a cyclist before!?

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Take a picture, it'll last longer.

15. Seriously, you're allowed to turn right at this red light. I'm giving you so much extra space.

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If we're giving you room, take advantage.

16. STOP HONKING AT ME BIKES ARE VEHICLES TOO

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This cannot be emphasized enough.

17. DAMN CLIPLESS PEDALS UGH

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They always seem to act up at the worst possible times, like when you're at a red light that has just turned green and you have 10 cars behind you.

18. Pft, look at that noob with his toe clips

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Yeah, people with those cages for their shoes to slide into are kind of nerdy in the cycling world.

19. HEY IT'S CALLED "ON YOUR LEFT", YOU CAN'T JUST PASS ME LIKE THAT WITHOUT LETTING ME KNOW YOU'RE THERE

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If I'm riding 20 mph, it'd be nice to know when another cyclist is approaching me so that I don't make any sudden movements.

20. Oh my gosh what am I even doing

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It's easy to feel inadequate when you're with more advanced riders than you. Or even just knowing that more advanced riders exist and that you're probably a failure.

21. I'm making such a fool of myself

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Sometimes we feel badass, and sometimes we feel not so badass.

22. If I climb this hill, I'll finish sooner than if I stay in the saddle

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We talk ourselves into standing up on the bike in order to finish the hill faster, ignoring the fact that it takes more effort.

23. (halfway into climbing a hill): I regret this decision tremendously

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The steeper the climb, the more we regret it.

24. I LOVE CYCLING

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25. I'M SO IN MY ELEMENT, THIS IS UNREAL

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This is most common when we have a tailwind and/or are on a descent. We feel like badasses when we're clocking 30 mph, not gonna lie.

26. I HATE THIS SPORT, I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN

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27. This will make a great Facebook status.

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Some of the most outrageous stories come from my experiences on the bike.

28. SPINNERS ARE WINNERS!

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