I Watched Honey Boo Boo So You Wouldn’t Have To

What I learned from Honey Boo Boo

Last week, out of sheer boredom and extreme curiosity, I decided to check out what all this “Here comes Honey Boo Boo” madness was all about. I loaded up the first episode and before I pushed play, I wondered for a minute whether I really wanted this in my life. Would I ever be able to un-see what I was about to watch? After years of watching trashy reality tv, I felt pretty confident that I could handle it.

And then I pushed play…..

For the next 20 minutes I was transported into the world of mud bogging and pigs feet. Into a world where they have to use english subtitles for people speaking english. A world where a woman (who is a year younger than me) is about to be a grandmother!!!

After I made it through the first episode, I sat in silence for about 15 minutes trying to digest what I had just seen and trying somehow to figure out how I would describe this show to my friends especially considering that this show had just rendered me speechless . I decided that before I could properly have an opinion I would have to watch another few episodes. I loaded them up, pushed play and spent the next hour and a half immersed in this crazy world!

If you haven’t watched it then I’m about to do you a huge favor and give you a recap to prevent you from going through what I voluntarily put myself through.

Honey Boo Boo (Alana) was previously on the show “Toddles and Tiaras”. After a youtube video of her went viral TLC (the channel that airs both shows) had no choice but to jump at the chance to offer her and her family their own show.

The show follows Honey Boo Boo who is frequently entering child beauty pageants, her mother (June), three older sisters (1 who is 17 and pregnant) and her mom’s boyfriend (Sugarbear). They live in what appears to be a double wide trailer which sits right next to a gas station and in front of some train tracks. June is into extreme couponing which she uses at the local Piggly Wiggly and has somehow amassed a large amount of free toilet paper.

In the first episode you learn about the local Redneck festival, belly flopping in puddles of mud, bobbing for raw pigs feet and how June has taught her daughters that “passing gas” 12-15 times a day is considered a great way to lose weight… You see Alana enter into a beauty pageant and lose and you get to see how the whole family washes their hair in the kitchen sink.

To help her feel better after her loss, her father Sugarbear, buys her a pet pig in the 2nd episode which just adds to the chaos that is already their lives. You see the family attend food auctions where local companies auction off food that is about to expire. As the family does live below the poverty line this is a good way for them to save money except you learn that the family does it because they spend the majority of their income on Honey Boo Boo’s pageant dresses which cost about $1000 each….

You see the family meet with an etiquette expert to try and teach the daughters proper table manners and how to greet people whilst at special events. You see the kids decorate the house with all the free toilet paper to celebrate June and Sugarbears’ anniversary, you see the family visit the local water park where June shows off her “forklift toe” and finally you get to see Honey Boo Boo actually win a prize at a kiddies beauty pageant.

All in all the show, whilst mind numbing and shocking, is actually quite entertaining even though it really isn’t for everyone and I probably wont watch it again. And as controversial as the family is they actually do love each other and the father does work hard to provide for them so at least there is that.

What did shock me this week though was the fact that due to extreme popularity this show has been picked up for another season, more people watched this show than some of the political debates AND the family is now being offered $15-20,000 an episode.

While I don’t think that anybody would ever give me my own reality show it makes me wonder if it might be worth me pulling out a few teeth, un-learning proper english and shacking up with some dude I can call “my sugar boo” who works at the local chalk factory, cause based on my previous salaries it appears I have been going about this life thing the wrong way!

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