The 20 Most Fab Pokémon According To People Who Aren’t In The Fandom

America’s Next Top Pokémon is…

Two friends and I recently embarked on a journey to discover the most fab Pokemon of all time. We searched through all 718 currently available Pokemon to find the top contenders. We collectively have little-to-no knowledge of the actual Pokemon anime. These are the notes from our search.

1. Ninetales

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“OG fab Pokemon.”
“Yes. Perfect way to start out.”
“Ninetales is a cruel drunk though. I don’t know that I would party with her.”
“Yeah but I think she also has your back… sometimes”
“Oh, we for sure do not want Ninetales to be our enemy.”
“Ninetales has about three real friends and doesn’t care about anyone else.”

2. Clefable

“I feel like secretly Clefable has issues.”
“Clefable is a diva at brunch and ruins everything.”
“Bless her heart.”

3. Starmie

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“Can you be fab without a face?”
“Yes, in theory. But Starmie doesn’t do it for me. I would not book her in a show.”

4. Dragonair

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“Dragonair is like seeing Jennifer Lawrence in real life.”
“Correction, Dragonair is like seeing Anna Wintour in real life. None of that goofy ‘falling over red carpets and trying to get your approval.’”
“That’s true.”
“Leave that shit to Wigglytuff.”

5. Articuno

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“Articuno has all of the gossip.”
“Articuno is also the haughtiest, worst person but knows everything about everyone.”
“That’s why her tail is so long, it’s full of secrets.”

6. Bellossom

OLM, inc / Via groras.tumblr.com

“I feel like Bellossom is too cute to be fab.”
“Her sartorial choices are dubious. It feels like she’s acting out.”
“Yeah, I’m worried about her.”
“Bellossom may or may not be in a cult.”

7. Blissey

“Blissey: Fab.”
“YES! No one messes with Blissey. She has a great career, and on top of that is nice and hilarious.”
“Right. The end, period, done. Blissey is fab. Next!”

8. Espeon

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“Espeon is evil-fab.”
“Ya… Espeon was really dorky in high school but now she has all of the nuclear codes and gets $300 haircuts.”
“Stay in school, kids.”

9. Smoochum

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“Smoochum is the basic bitch of Pokemon.”
“Yup.”

10. Jirachi

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“Jirachi has this pseudo-clown-eyes thing going on that is NOT what’s up.”
“But it has a little cape! The cape and hat are fab.”
“Sure but not every legendary Pokemon can automatically be fab.”
“I guess that’s true. Jirachi needs to check her privilege.”

11. Gardevoir

OLM, inc / Via enter-books.com

“Yaaas! Gardevoir, Yaaas! You look beautiful!”
“Gardevoir is VERY fab.”
“Gardevoir eats the runway.”
“Gardevoir does car commercials in Japan.”
“Gardevoir also probably does that thing where you stick your feet in a bowl of fish and they nibble on you to give you a pedicure.”
“Yikes.”
“I just mean she probably does all kinds of weird shit to keep up appearances.”
“Gardevoir is fab.”

12. Milotic

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“Milotic is kind of stepping on Dragonair’s turf, right?”
“Yeah… I feel like Dragonair has an ‘Old Hollywood’ thing going on and Milotic is more glam.”
“Dragonair is classic. But Milotic has an ugly duckling backstory. She has more depth.”
“Milotic has more emotional intelligence due to her past life as Feebas. She would be a good friend.”

13. Skitty

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“Basic. She’s a cat.”
“I wonder what it’s like to pitch a Pokemon design. Specifically, I wonder how you convince someone that another cat Pokemon is a good idea.”
“This conversation is too intellectual for Skitty. Just look at the GIF.”

14. Togekiss

“OMG Togekiss. I would absolutely daydrink with Togekiss.”
“Togekiss is like that fun girl that you have a one night stand with and no one regrets anything.”
“She is owning her sexuality and nothing is awkward. It’s in the name.”
“Togekiss goes to EDM concerts.”

15. Froslass

OLM, inc / Via desmotivaciones.es

“Froslass…”
“Froslass has a weird thing going on.”
“Froslass is really serious about Astrology. Like WAY TOO SERIOUS.”
“Yeah, I can’t say that I think Froslass is fab.”
“Maybe Froslass is so fab we can’t comprehend it because we aren’t even on the same level.”
“Or maybe she’s just derpy.”

16. Cinccino

OLM, inc / Via personqwer.tumblr.com

“Oh Cinccino. Cinccino is like a nicer Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada.”
“I don’t like Cinccino but I see how it could be fab.”

17. Gothitelle

OLM, inc / Via smogon.com

“I feel like Gothitelle got lost in Hot Topic and decided to never leave.”
“I think that’s a bit fab though. She knows who she is and what her aspirations are.”
“Yeah I guess. I bet Gothitelle has a lot of agency in her personal life.”
“Gothitelle has a bunch of tattoos but still keeps it business-appropriate.”

18. Delphox

OLM, inc / Via atrl.net

“Delphox has that Hermione-type swag going on. It’s all about the wand.”

19. Aromatisse

Lucy Nicholson / Reuters / Reuters / OLM, inc

“Aromatisse is trying to pull off the leg reveal… let this be a lesson to everyone. No one does it like Angelina.”
“Not fab. Come up with your own thing, don’t steal someone else’s.”

20. Sylveon

OLM, inc / Via blog.zing.vn

“What is even happening in this GIF!?!”
“Flawlessness.”
“Sylveon seems kind of like a hybrid between yuppie and hippie.”
“I want Sylveon to have a dark secret in her past that comes back to haunt her… but that might be reaching for something that isn’t there.”
“Sylveon is the first to die in a horror film though.”
“Yeah… The cost of being fab…”

Which Pokemon do you think is the most fab? Leave a note in the comments!

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