How to Build a Fast-Talking, Sex-Adventuring, Goth-Loving Heroine in 15 Steps

Some heroines' major problems include choosing between two supernatural hotties and being “quietly beautiful.” But for How to Build A Girl’s Johanna Morrigan, growing up is a little more A Series of Unfortunate Events than Twilight. So she decides to adopt a pseudonym, start collaging, and conjure up a whole new girl. Behold, the eclectic influences behind Dolly Wilde, sex-goddess-in-training:

1. Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth I in Blackadder

harpercollins.com / Via theawkwardblondeus.tumblr.com

Via theawkwardblondeus.tumblr.com

2. Dylan Thomas Smoking a Fag

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3. Barbra Streisand in Hello, Dolly!

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4. Anne of Green Gables

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5. Dorothy Parker Draped in Furs

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6. Elizabeth Taylor Being Perfect

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7. George Orwell Looking Noble

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8. Orson Welles Pranking The World, Not Giving a Shit

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9. Scarlett O'Hara's "As God is My Witness" Speech

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"As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."

10. Tony Benn, Inventor of Stamps & the Post Office Tower

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11. Rik Mayall, Bogart-ing as Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

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12. Bugs Bunny Looking Irresistible in a Dress

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13. Kate Bush Dancing in a Nightie

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14. Young Lenin Looking a Little TOO Handsome

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15. David Bowie's "Queen Bitch"

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"Oh God, I could do better than that"

Interested in following the rest of Johanna's transformation? Read an excerpt from Caitlin Moran's How To Build a Girl, on sale now.