11 Literary First Lines, Pirated

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day. Brought to you by The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot.

1. "It be a truth universally acknowledged, that a sin'le man in possession o' a good fortune must be in want o' a wench."

2. "All jolly crews be alike, but each gloomy crew be bilge-sucking in its own way."

3. "Mrs. Dalloway said she would cleave him to the brisket herself."

4. "The moonrise when rapscallion Max wore his wolf guise and made shenanigans of this sort and another... "

5. "Two fleets, both shipshape and of like treasure, In fair Verona, where aweighs our tale, From ye old grudge bein’ new MUTINY! Where priv’teer blood makes priv’teer hooks assail."

6. "Times be swell, times be stormy... "

7. "Buccaneer Dursley and his wench, lallygagging about port’o’call Privet Drive, be thinking highly o’ themselves, that they be as drab as ever, thanks be to ye."

8. "You’ll be doing a jig when you hear no squall befell that there voyage you be thinking of, with such blasted thoughts."

9. "Once there be four scallywags, callin’ themselves, Cap’n Peter, Lady Susan, First Mate Edmond, and Lassie Lucy."

10. "Shiver me Ishmael!"

11. "Ever since the letter had arrived from Miss Pimm’s, Hilary had spent more and more time talking to the gargoyle."

You know, because pirates really just talk like the rest of us.