1. Write a Book
Writing a book demands considerable time and knowledge. Luckily, I’ve always had the knowledge; retirement will afford me the time. Although I can’t say exactly what I’ll write about, which is often the case with us creative geniuses.
2. Start a New Hobby
There’s not a whole lot to say about this one. Basically, I recommend finding a new way to stimulate decaying brain cells.
3. Volunteer to Speak at a Local School or College
If you need an excuse to leave the asylum/nursing home, consider spreading knowledge and experience with the community.
5. Spend Time with Friends
Your days chilling with pals at the “home” should be rather entertaining. It’ll be just like your favorite sports bar. Whoever said people needed alcohol to forget their identity and start verbally assaulting their companions.
6. Remain Active
All kidding aside, really should stay active. It’s called retirement, not death.
7. Be Creative
Being old is strikingly similar to early childhood. Anything you create will be viewed as cute and creative. (Even if it looks like you used your foot as a paint brush.)
8. Join A Band (Or Start It)
To make some serious ruckus — without being reprimanded — start/join a band. Everyone knows you are 100 times cooler if you are old and you can still rock out in a band. In fact, you may make a name for yourself. Leonard Clearwater from the Garden Way Retirement Communities has been in a groovy quartet for 45+ years. This group of communities enjoys the music regularly produced by the quartet.
9. Join a Book Club
Similar to joining a band, you need to maintain a healthy social life during retirement. You can also demonstrate your superior ability to analyze literature and pretend you’re actually intelligent.
10. Design and Make Clothes
Don’t conform to the Norm! Set yourself apart from rest of the crowd: make your own clothes. You’ll start looking like Tom Selleck with a diaper.
11. Watch Your Back
Moving into a senior living facility is like going to war: you’re fighting for food, shelter, and survival. People who work at these places are often crazier than you. In addition to watching your back, you should also wash it. Don’t be the guy who smells like Rosie O’ Donnell’s gym towel.
12. Have a Sandwich Eating Competition
No one expects you to have a huge appetite as a senior citizen, but just imagine the respect you’d get after demolishing a 3 ½ foot long sub with no shame about it. This friendly looking Italian chef is making a sandwich in this community in Pharr, Texas.
This post was written in collaboration with Jeremy Endter.