How Much Would It Cost To Bump Off Justin Bieber?

As pub begins questionable grass-roots campaign to slay the celebrity singer, we do the maths…

"Notes only, no shrapnel"

An extreme question, sure, but one London pub appears to be holding a hitman collection with the pint-sized multimillionaire in mind, so it begs the question: how long before an off-colour tip-jar gag becomes a case for trade description?

According to The Straight Dope's murder arithmetic, there are around 416 contract hits in the US each year, and a quick Google shows that contract killers can be had for as little as $1,000 (?!), though the price tends to increase depending on security detail and prominence of the target. In this case read: pretty bloody prominent.

At current conversion rates, $1,000 is around £660. So if three people a day chucked in a quid, they'll have a competitive starting figure sometime next spring.

But if the hit's not carried out, can donators demand a refund? Or is it actually like Kickstarter and there's no guarantee of you actually getting any return on your investment?

Only time will tell, but best to keep the pub unnamed just in case…