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    Hypochondriacs VS Non-Hypochondriacs

    Real life troubles of a hypochondriac.

    greg_boil
    by greg_boil

    Community Contributor

    “I have a headache"

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    Non-Hypochondriacs

    I must be dehydrated.

    Hypochondriacs

    I must have a brain tumor.

    “My groin itches"

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    Non-Hypochondriacs

    I should shower or get some sort of powder.

    Hypochondriac

    I have an STD and will never produce children.

    “My stomach is killing me."

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    Non-Hypochondriac

    I should not have had that burrito.

    Hypochondriac

    What side is my appendix on?

    “Ohh boy, my eye itches"

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    Non-Hypochondriac

    Excuse me. Can you blow in my eye?

    Hypochondriac

    I AM GOING BLIND. MY CONTACT MIGHT BE BEHIND MY EYE.

    “My throat is so sore today"

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    Non-Hypochondriac

    Can you pick me up some cough drops at the store?

    Hypochondriac

    I have narrowed it down to mono, tonsillitis, and gangrene.

    "My period is 3 minutes late"

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    Non-Hypochondriac

    What time is Wheel of Fortune on?

    Hypochondriac

    Do you think I got pregnant from that Starbucks toilet seat?

    “Let me check Web MD"

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    Non-Hypochondriac

    Ill just check here. I don't want to go to the doctor.

    Hypochondriac

    Time of death 4:23pm.

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