1.
I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (Oooooo)/ I am four eels/ Never meant to make your daughter cry/ I am several fish and not a guy
2.
honestly any guy could tell me he was part of the non-Adam Levine portion of maroon 5 and I would 100% believe him
3.
[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is "bananas" GWEN STEFANI: oh hell yes
4.
If you're about to post song lyrics on social media, ask yourself is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thing down flip it 'n reverse it
5.
don't be fooled by the rocks that i got. they are just ordinary stones. literally just car park gravel i scooped into my pockets
6.
has anyone heard Katy Perry roar yet or was that just an empty threat
7.
WHOA HOLD UP GUYS HEAR THAT SIREN MUST MEAN A REMIX IS COMIN ON GET READY oh wait that's an ambulance oh shit someone died guys stop dancing
8.
The whole time America was riding through that desert, the horse was thinking, "My name is Jeremy, jerk. Been your horse for 6 years."
9.
"anyway here's wonderwall"
10.
[jazz appreciation class] PROF: *plays jazz tune* how do you feel about this one ME: I...appreciate it PROF: damn right *hands me diploma*
11.
the guy from modest mouse sings like someone is chasing him with a garden hose
12.
"Venti mocha for 'Alright Alright Alright." *Matthew McConaughey and Andre 3000 touch hands reaching for it at the same time, become BFFs*
13.
REPORTER: Mr. President, what's your favorite Wu Tang album? OBAMA: What kind of question is -- [biden grabs podium] BIDEN: LIQUID SWORDS
14.
*drake on the phone w his ghostwriter* hit me ghostwriter: ok did some stuff about rapping n bein famous, but also abt when u weren't famous
15.
All classical music sounds like the score to a mouse traversing a variety of terrain
16.
Macs ranked best to worst - Fleetwood - book pros - n cheese - klemore
17.
I don't want no Scrubs / Scrubs was a show that debuted on NBC / documenting the comical lives of two best friend guys / named Turk and JD
18.
*ciara '1 2 step' comes on* *texts every girl in my phone like "let's go out tonight!"* *song ends* *texts them all back like "nvm"*
19.
My anaconda don't want none because he was a rescue and is grateful to have a safe and loving home. In a way, he was the one who rescued me.
20.
I think milk hotels should pick a side
21.
do you think the song monster mash was a true story
22.
Trent! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Reznor! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to funeral*
23.
Meet George Jetson His Boy Elroy Daughter Judy Jane his wife Just kidding, obviously. I'll send the real lyrics tomorrow. Do not use these.
24.
"sweet caroline" starts to skip at the bar, bros paralyzed shouting SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD at each other, eyes wide with terror
25.
what if The Who let the dogs out
26.
Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?
27.
1963: I want to hold your hand 1984: I want to know what love is 2015: I want to eat the booty like groceries
28.
You are the viral queen, young and tween, only tweeting memes.
29.
I just met you/And this is Swayze/But there's a corner/It's not for Baby