1.
I'm at my brothers football practice and there are pieces of paper in the woods of kids practicing curse words
2.
My daughter said yesterday, ominously and with regard to trees: "They're not like us."
3.
4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said "People are a prototype" and I was too scared to ask what he meant.
4.
never loved anyone more than the toddler that is urgently running through Target right now repeating the word "potatoes" under his breath
5.
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, "I'm NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I've been whispering. Now I'm free!"
6.
Meanwhile, my five year old son is now calling the forest "The Wildness".
7.
My 2 y/o just looked into the woods off our driveway and said "nobody would ever find you."
8.
T: Dad, you will always be my dad. MF: Yes. T: Even when you're dead and in the demon world with me. MF: ...
9.
My son the poet
10.
Asked my 5 yo brother why he was changing clothes to go out 5 hours from now and he said "if you stay ready you don't have to get ready"
11.
I worry about people with fanny packs. - my eleven year old son
12.
when my daughter was 3 she threw a penny in a fountain and wished that she could touch a dead bee
13.
my sister’s coworker's son used a bunch of lego pants to spell the word ‘pants’. it looks like a different word.
14.
#tbt that time i killed a bug and traumatized a child.
15.
This will be my kid
16.
My sister told me they're watching Muppets Most Wanted and my niece said very seriously, "When he's dancing you can tell the frog is fake."
17.
This precious tiny girl dressed in head to toe pink on the train just said in a precious tiny girl voice "What do you know about spiders"
18.
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.
19.
This kid asked me for some skittles but I had just finished them so he stared at me like this the entire flight