1.
So the NBA Finals, huh? So no more basketball ever again? Feels extreme but ok
2.
Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends
3.
Oh you're a basketball fan? Name 3 basketballs.
4.
Will I watch a football game w/ you? I'd love to, if it's ten minutes long & accompanied by 30 mins of riveting drama in a small Texas town
5.
i hope my sons enjoyed the basketball game
6.
so what happens if the horse wins the triple crown? does he get to become human again at last? sorry i don't watch a lot of horsing racing
7.
don't show me a cute vid of your baby playing basketball if you're gonna get mad when i call him on traveling. teach your kid the damn rules
8.
Greatest calls in golf history: "And the ball... is in... the hole." "He hit the ball in the hole." "The hole... that's where the ball is."
9.
When the gym teacher is like "everyone's gotta participate"
10.
Hello. Im the kid who some how always had a tennis ball at school
11.
[a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
12.
boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
13.
(Interview to be a hot dog vendor at a baseball park) INTERVIEWER: how loud can you yell 'hot dogs'? ME: (eyes go completely black) HOT DOGS
14.
[organist plays take me out to the ballgame] Priest: sir this is a funeral show some respect [plays take me out to the ballgame slower]
15.
The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.
16.
"You miss 100% of the shots" - my hockey coach
17.
Fantasy Sports Team Name Ideas: -Mortal Coil -just like a bucket of shrimps -masculinity is socially constructed -Fred Savage -Hawk Death
18.
"Pass me the basketball please. Fellas, c'mon. Please! Would you please pass me the damn basketball!!" - me sitting courtside at an NBA game
19.
hey guys why do they call it athletic deodorant instead of sport scenter
20.
[during a curling match] COMMENTATOR: what the fuck is this sport. are they sweeping
21.
Well, the game wasn't going too well, but then a fan yelled "shoot!" while I had the puck behind the net. That changed everything.
22.
I bet most celebrities who've thrown the first pitch at a baseball game let out one of those nervous stress farts prior to the pitch
23.
Constantly saying "I don't care about sports" is a form of caring about sports
24.
[MLB team naming meeting] "Philadelphia. Any ideas?" PHILLIES "eh…I guess. Next, Baltimore" BALTIES "ok someone get that asshole outta here"
25.
[postgame interview after loss] 'so kyle where'd it go wrong out there?' probably when i was petting that dog instead of catching the ball