5 Reasons To Avoid The Outdoors This Memorial Day

Memorial Day is this Monday, and you probably have plans to leave the house and do something fun. WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE FUN WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!

Trees falling down kill 33 people every year. And they NEVER KNOW WHEN TO DIE.

70 people drown every year in lakes. Those deceitful, placid bastard bodies of water.

Also, lakes explode and release an insane amount of CO2. One erupted and killed 1,700 people in 1986.

Wind kills about 45 people and causes over a billion dollars in damages every single year. Plus, 75% of all weather related accidents are from dumb ol' wind. WIND.

The best you can hope for this Memorial Day is rain.

Rain creates flash floods and kills about 93 people every year, Cholera spread by rain water kills 100,000 people per year, a other rain-related diseases are to blame for 200,000 other deaths every year. But at least it'll keep you inside.