1. It's damn near impossible to find a pair of jeans that will fit both your thighs and your waist.
If they'll fit your waist, they probably won't go past your thighs. And if they fit your thighs, they're way too big for your waist.
2. To lose a pair of jeans to the thigh rub struggle is the absolute bane of your life.
3. Literally no pair of jeans is safe.
4. Absolutely none.
Damn. Another soldier lost in the long running Denim-Thigh Meat War. You will be missed, Black Jeans #37.
5. And leggings are even worse.
6. Seriously, why has no one invented a rub-resistant pair of jeans yet?!
7. You regularly use your thighs as a table for balancing important objects, like food.
8. And cute animals.
9. Thigh sweat in summer means baby powder is your best friend.
10. And pretty much every kind of lubricant you can find.
11. Because chafing is the absolute worst.
12. And trying to walk with chafed legs is pretty fucking painful.
13. Wearing ripped jeans means you'll inadvertently find the pattern of them tattooed to your thighs when you take them off.
big thighs n ripped jeans don't mix
14. You know the struggle of fighting with your shorts to stop them rising up as you walk.
15. And the occasional sound of your thighs clapping together.
hit me 1 time *thigh clap* hit me 2 times *thigh clap thigh clap* hit me 3 times *thigh clap thigh clap thigh clap* let's go!
16. Still, you can take solace in the fact your thighs are big enough to crush the heads of your enemies.
17. Or burn them to the ground.
Kidding, don't do that.
18. Because big thighs are both a blessing and a curse.
