1. There's nothing worse than emptying the coffee tank at the end of the day.
2. We regularly get caught eating and have to pretend like we don't have a mouth full of croissant.
3. Yes, the leftover food does get donated, but not before we take a couple of sandwiches for the way home first.
4. We can't sell a broken Godfrey to customers, so he usually gets "accidentally broken" so we can eat him ourselves.
5. We may forget to use skimmed milk in your "skinny cappuccino" and hand it to you anyway, praying you don't notice.
6. The same goes for decaf drinks.
7. If the cookies appear to be all sold out during lunch time it's because we've hidden them all for our own lunch.
8. If you actually bother to throw your own rubbish in the bin, we LOVE you.
9. Every employee has experienced the pain of burning themselves whilst getting a toastie.
10. Cleaning the toilets isn't actually that bad because it means not talking to people.
11. Behind every "Private" door is usually a kitchen worker jamming to their own music or complaining whilst slicing avocados.
12. "Deep cleaning" is everyone's least favourite phrase.
13. Closely followed by FIFO.
14. We have an obligation to make awkward conversation with you, just in case you're the mystery shopper.
15. A free croissant could be out of the goodness of our own hearts or because it's been sat there for six hours and looks kind of hard.
16. Similarly, a free latte could be because we made too many lattes and couldn't be arsed to throw it away.
17. Basically, "free stuff" is due to a bunch of things and it's not always because we "fancy" you.
18. In fact, we're pretty sure we wouldn't be too appealing anyway in our uniform of coffee-stained shirt, pen-marked jeans and ugly black shoes.
19. No matter how many times we say "it's ok" when you spill your drink, it's never ok.
20. Closing the shop is a long and arduous process that would be much easier if you DIDN'T enter five minutes before close.
21. If an area is closed off with chairs, we're giving you a direct instruction NOT to move the chairs and proceed past anyway.
22. Talking on the phone whilst ordering will always be rude.
23. If we ask if you want to "eat in'" or "take away" just replying with "yes" isn't actually answering the question.
24. And last but not least: We. Do. Not. Do. Decaf. Filters.
