1. Coconut oil is one of the most powerful of oils to ever have existed.
2. When you need it, it's there. There is no problem in the world that coconut oil cannot fix.
frizzy hair? coconut oil. no shaving cream? coconut oil. dry skin? coconut oil. bad credit? coconut oil. bf acting up? coconut oil.
3. Praying for an artist's album? Anoint that prayer in coconut oil.
it's almost 2016 and there's STILL no frank ocean album? coconut oil
4. Bad attitude? Apply some coconut oil and leave to cool.
when ur talking to someone and they are being so dry and all u wonderin is u can apply some coconut oil to their crusty ass attitude
5. Trust me, your life will change. You will shine.
when you first put the coconut oil on
6. Why not use it to dismantle the patriarchy?
if coconut oil works for an organic moisturiser AND for cooking how can we utilise it to destroy the patriarchy
7. Use it to tend to your weary bones after fighting oppression.
when bae is bruised & battered from fighting oppressive systems and you come thru w/ the coconut oil for his wounds
8. Use it as the most accurate thermometer you'll ever have.
Eff all your 'standard' temperature metrics: this coconut oil is still liquid and that's the only real gauge I need. #science
9. Never doubt its power.
Can coconut oil repair my trust issues?
The answer to this is yes. Yes it can.
10. Never doubt its abilities.
11. Never doubt its influence.
12. If there's one key to success you need, it's the presence of coconut oil shining through every part of your life.
me after using coconut oil & trying to convince my friends to use it too
13. Bad grades? Get some coconut oil.
*pours coconut oil over grades*
14. For added intelligence, pour it over your exams.
15. For added luck, pour it over next year.
16. Fuck it, pour it over everything.
17. It's the answer to all of life's most prominent struggles.
Dry edges? Cheating spouse? Stressed? Bad breaks on car? Can't twerk? Ashy? Lonely? No fashion sense? Solution:
18. Make someone's day today. Buy them a tub of earth's sweetest elixir.
when mom brings home the 2 new tubs of coconut oil you asked for <3
You're welcome.