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1. Have a house which people will lust over
2. Just make sure your insults are first class
3. Host parties which blow every other party out of the water
4. Remember it is acceptable to spend $25,000 on sunglasses
5. It doesn't matter if you're late because the party waits for you
6. And when you get to that party expect to see animals
7. But it also helps to have a hidden talent to impress people
8. Failing that, just try to be yourself and make friends
9. And make sure you stand out in the title sequence
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10. Just remember not to be too cocky
11. Because that doesn't help you make friends
12. Remember that drinking anytime after lunch is acceptable too
13. So long as you share, of course
14. And don't end up too drunk
15. But if you do, try to stay classy
16. And learn how to work the hair
17. It really is all about the hair
18. You probably will end up in a fight at some point
19. But who hasn't? Just apologise only when necessary
20. And, above all, always stay on top of everything
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