• “I spoke with other teachers that had been working at the time of the incident. They all stated that Porter did not drink sodas or any other canned beverages and maintained a strict vegan diet…However on the date in question they noticed that he was drinking a Coke and had gone to Taco Bell to get tacos for lunch.”

  • “I approached Porter who was sitting calmly in the teachers lounge in the nude…I asked him how he was feeling, he responded, ‘I’m good.’”

  • “He stated that he had reached a ‘new level of enlightenment,’ and ‘he wanted everybody to be free now that his third Eye was open.’”

  • “I then explained the obvious problem with his third eye being open in public.”