Arriving at the Webbys, armed with beer and press pass. The award ceremony was held in the beautiful Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. Well, I assume it’s beautiful. I spent all night in the basement with the rest of the media.
While participating in a Google+ Hangout, I somehow got crowned Queen of the Internet.
The first person I approached for a photo was Juliette Lewis. It did not go well. When I told her I was supposed to be Angelina Jolie, she kind of flipped out and said she wanted nothing to do with me. Honestly don’t know what that was all about.
The second person I tried to get a photo with was Bjork. Also did not go well. She just giggled at me in that ethereal Bjork kind of way and was quickly ushered out by her handler.
At this point I’m 0 for 2, so I figured I wouldn’t have a chance with Jeremy Lin.
Will I bag the Knicks sensation or do we have another runner on our hands? (I call celebrities who don’t want their photo taken with me “runners.”)
Success! Although he was slightly befuddled by the hot tranny mess before him, he very graciously stopped for a photo.
Spike Lee breezed by so fast I didn’t even have a chance to get rejected.
The Key of Awesome, who performed Eat It, Don’t Tweet It at the show, were predictably awesome.
Standing around in heels hurts like a bastard. Ladies and cross-dressers, my utmost sympathies.
Holy crap! Richard Effing Dreyfus! The Hollywood legend was there to introduce a eulogy for Steve Jobs. He was super nice and suggested I use duct tape to rip out my chest hair.
John Hodgman is suspicious.
As is Justin Long.
But then this happened. Hodgman straddled my leg while Long pointed at his crotch.
Skip Bayless, the ESPN commentator who achieved viral celebrity status thanks to an autotune remix of his rant about Tim Tebow, was a perfect gentleman. Me: “Mr. Bayless, could I get a photo with you?” Skip Bayless: “I never turn down a photo with a lady.”
Jason Sudeikis is the best. Not only is he the glue holding together Saturday Night Live, but he’s a huge fan of KU basketball. We chatted about the Jayhawks for a few minutes. As an alum of the University of Kansas and a former resident of Lawrence, I swooned.
After all that excitement, I need a drink.
And who should I run into at the bar? None other than Mike O’Brien, who won a Webby for 7 Minutes In Heaven.
Cris Torres, who won Meme of the Year for creating Nyan Cat, shows off his gams.
This handsome gentleman is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, better known as Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones. I had to be told all of this after the fact by people who actually have HBO.
Then came the after party. There was mac and cheese.
I bum rushed the stage.