20 Ways This Year's Freshmen Will Make You Feel Old

Beloit College released their annual Mindset List, designed to help prevent their staff from making cultural references that the incoming class won't recognize, and it's depressing as ever. These are only 20 of the 75 ways that the graduating class of 2015 will drive you to booze and Propecia. At least we have another year before the incoming class can say that Kurt Cobain has always been dead.

• 1. River Phoenix Has Always Been Dead

  

• 2. There Have Always Been At Least Two Women On The Supreme Court

  

• 3. American Tax Forms Have Always Been Available In Spanish

  

• 4. They Have No Idea What The Phrase "Don't Touch That Dial" Means

  

• 5. If You Refer To LBJ, They Think You're Talking About LeBron James

  

• 6. O.J. Simpson Has Always Been Least Known For His Football Career

  

• 7. Jim Carrey Has Always Been Least Known As A Pet Detective

  

• 8. They Have Always Lived With "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

  

• 9. There Has Never Been An Official Communist Party In Russia

  

• 10. Women Have Always Been Kissing Women On TV

  

• 11. Music Has Always Been Available For Free Download

  

• 12. Sears Has Never Made A Big Book Catalog

  

• 13. The Commodore 64 Has Always Been Dead

  

• 14. No State Has Ever Failed To Observe Martin Luther King Day

  

• 15. Public Schools Have Always Had Advertising

  

• 16. New Kids On The Block Have Always Been Known As NKOTB

  

• 17. Michael Jordan Has Been Primarily Known As An Underwear Spokesman

  

• 18. Breaking Up By Text Or Social Media Is A Standard Practice

  

• 19. They've Never Seen A First Run Episode Of "Cheers"

  

• 20. Ferris Bueller And Sloane Peterson Could Be Their Parents