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50 Hilarious Parks And Rec Quotes In Honor Of The Farewell Season
In honor of tonight's Parks & Recreation farewell season premiere.
1.“If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.” — Ron Swanson
2."When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her." — Andy Dwyer
3.“I don’t want to do things. I want to not do things.” — April Ludgate
4."I also think it's pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it." — Ron Swanson
5."Oh dude, you forgot to put a shirt on. Don't worry I do it all the time." — Andy Dwyer
6.“Love…love fades away, but things…things are forever.” — Tom Haverford
7.“Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.” — Leslie Knope
8.“Ovaries before brovaries.” — Leslie Knope
9.“I think Comic Sans always screams FUN.” — Jerry Gergich
10.“Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.” — Tom Haverford
11.“TREAT YO SELF” — Donna Meagle
12.“The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.” — Ron Swanson
13."Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life." — Ron Swanson
14.“I love games that turn people against each other.” — April Ludgate
15.“When I walked in this morning I saw that the flag was at half mast, I thought, ‘All right, another bureaucrat ate it!’ And then I saw it was Lil’ Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damn respect.” — Ron Swanson
16."Warning: high levels of swagger coming through." — Tom Haverford
17.“Dude that is the coolest sentence I have ever heard somebody talk. — Andy Dwyer
18."I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief." — Ron Swanson
19.“I hate talking to people about things.” — April Ludgate
20."Of all my coworkers he is one of a small number of whom I do not actively root against…uh, there I go again getting all sappy." — Ron Swanson
21."One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine." — Leslie Knope
22.“You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.” — Ron Swanson
23.“Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” — Ron Swanson
24.“I don’t even want to be here. The air is too fresh. It’s disgusting. I can’t breathe.” — April Ludgate
25."When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life." — Andy Dwye
26.“We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.” — Leslie Knope
27.“There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food.” — Ron Swanson
28."I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I barf." — Andy Dwyer
29."I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things." — Leslie Knope
30.“Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life.” — Tom Haverford
31.“Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.” — Andy Dwyer
32."What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me." — Leslie Knope
33."Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit." — Tom Haverford
34.“If you ever speak to me in Spanish please use the formal usted.” — April Ludgate
35."I don’t care about that prize. But I’m gonna win because I want his happiness to go away.” — April Ludgate
36.“I hope no one minds if I live tweet this bitch.” — Donna Meagle
37.“I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.” — Tom Haverford
38."The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." — Leslie Knope
39."Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir." — Leslie Knope
40.“Yes, I am a hunter and it’s ‘you’ season.” — Donna Meagle
41.“I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort, probably.” — Leslie Knope
42."Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.” — Ron Swanson
43.“Do you have a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don't know a pair of cargo pants?” — Leslie Knope
44.“I call this turf 'n' turf. It's a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whisky and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at once because I am a free American.” — Ron Swanson
45.“My mom is Puerto Rican. That’s why I’m so lively and colorful.” — April Ludgate
46.“There’s a booth over there selling something called 'fried sausage quilts,' so I’m going to buy the booth.” — Ron Swanson
47.“I guess some people object to powerful depictions of awesome ladies.” — Leslie Knope
48.I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.” — Leslie Knope
49."Well I am not usually one for speeches. So, Goodbye.” — Ron Swanson