1. You feel like you’re walking on a circus wire every time you carry a tray full of drinks to a table.
2. And you want to crawl into a hole and cry when this happens.
3. Having to open a bottle of wine “the correct way” while your table just sits and stares at you is terrifying.
4. You’re always spilling ketchup and other types of guck on your new shoes.
5. In fact, there’s no way to keep anything clean. Sauce always finds a way.
8. And the only thing worse than no tip is an extremely insulting one.
9. You’re convinced that picky customers with complicated food orders walk in for the sole reason of ruining your day.
10. And if you work at a fancier spot, you most likely have to wear a tie everyday which suuuucks.
11. Also, you have to sneak a peek at your cellphone whenever you can or run to the bathroom to pick up a call and text.
12. Pooling tips leads to stupid arguments amongst your coworkers, and things can get ugly if people think you’re holding out on them.
13. When the kitchen messes something up or takes forever, you’re the one that has to take the fall.
14. Trying to explain to the chef that you need something “right now” or “as quickly as possible” never works.
16. Being around all that food makes you SO hungry, and if you’re not at a table you’re usually scavenging the kitchen for snacks.
17. But after having one too many employee meals, you starting getting sick of your restaurant’s food.
18. Your manager pretty much clocks your every move and goes around greeting tables to make sure you’re on top of your shit.
19. Then there’s that table that’s way too into each other and doesn’t even pay attention to you when you come around.
20. Waiting on someone you know but haven’t seen in years is sooooo awkward.
21. The late night stragglers who can’t seem to realize when they’ve overstayed their welcome are so irritating.
I just want to go home.
22. When closing time comes around, sometimes you have to get creative to let people know it’s time to get the hell out.
23. The struggle of standing on your feet for 6+ hours feel like actual exercise.
24. And it feels pretty amazing when your shift comes to an end, until you realize you have to come back tomorrow night and do the same thing.
25. Meanwhile all your friends are out partying on Friday and Saturday nights, and you’re not. Cool.
Everybody knows Friday and Saturday nights are the best nights to make money. You sacrifice your social life for those dollar dollar bills, ya’ll.