1.
You spend a whole 15 minutes raging about how you can't find your phone, while you're on it.
2.
You forget your public transit card almost every morning, ending up with a billion extras.
3.
You turn on the wrong stove burner and wonder why your food still isn't cooked after half an hour.
4.
You forget what you're saying as it's coming out of your mouth.
5.
You also momentarily forget your friend's name who you've known since childhood.
6.
You forget you have a pet until it strolls in and catches you off guard.
7.
You can't remember if you shampooed your hair or not while in the shower, so you do it again.
8.
You cross things off your to-do list, without actually doing them.
9.
You freak out for a second every morning because you think you're taking the wrong train to work, but it's always the same one.
10.
You constantly get your shit caught in sliding doors that catch you by surprise.
11.
You remember only on the fifth of the month that you need to send your rent check in, and scramble to make that happen before heading into work.
12.
You keep turning right and wonder why the fuck this still isn't opening.
13.
The lines between your dreams and reality are so blurred, you don't know what's what anymore.
14.
You send daily emails to the wrong person because they share the same name as your boss.
15.
You check your phone a million times a day to keep reminding yourself of the date.
16.
You're constantly that person who's asking their entire office if anyone has a phone charger.
17.
You forget to go grocery shopping and come home to an empty fridge, every damn day.
18.
You wear mismatched socks, not on purpose, like all the time.
19.
You outfit repeat with the wrong group of friends.
20.
You overestimate the amount of clean underwear you have left this week, and are then forced to improvise.
21.
You text the wrong person, and don't realize until weeks later that that actually happened.
22.
You call the wrong "Sarah" on your phone, and proceed to have an awkward conversation with a person you haven't talked to in five years.
23.
You stop someone on the street to say "hi" because you think they look like someone you know, but really, they don't.
24.
You turn off your alarm clock instead of pressing snooze, and then 20 minutes later...
25.
You shake your soda bottle, and then open it. WHY?
26.
And you look for your glasses while they're on top of your head, or worse, on your face.
