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13 Desserts That Have Been Mocked And Slandered By Yogurt

Q: How do you make any dessert sad? A: Add yogurt to the end of its name.

“My diet? Well, yesterday I had an apple turnover…”

NO YOU DIDN’T YOU LITERALLY ATE APPLE-FLAVORED GELATINOUS DAIRY.

YOU CAN’T JUST DYE A BUNCH OF LIVE ACTIVE CULTURES RED AND TELL ME THEY TASTE LIKE CAKE!!!

3. Strawberry Cheesecake

Apparently, 87% of women suffer from digestive issues like irregularity, but now 100% of us suffer from the pain of associating our favorite kind of cheesecake with this goop that gives you the runs.

Mmm, just how I like my cinnamon rolls: cold, soupy, and full of millions of dying bacteria.

Makes for a great treat when you want to recreate the taste of vomiting up a margarita and then immediately swallowing 3 cups of sugar.

The perfect snack for when I want to eat a mediocre version of a preexisting mediocre dessert.

The taste of this yogurt is indistinguishable from plain strawberry yogurt. Unless Yoplait is dealing with some next-level Willy Wonka cooking sorcery, there’s no way they’ve replicated the taste of a flaky biscuit in yogurt form.

Once again, it is MORALLY and ETHICALLY wrong to consider anything that rapidly accelerates bowel movements as dessert.

A quick and easy way to wish a happy birthday…TO YOUR WORST ENEMY MAUAHAHA.

11. Banana Cream Pie

LITERALLY JUST BANANA-FLAVORED YOGURT. YOU CAN’T ADD “CREAM” FLAVOR TO A PRODUCT THAT IS, BY NATURE, CREAM FLAVORED.

12. Triple Berry Torte

Can you taste all three individual berries??? Because I can only taste REGRET.

13. Cosmopolitan

(Technically a cocktail, but a dessert for MANY)

GIRLS’ NIGHT IN, AMIRITE LADIES? HAHAHA…HA…-weeps-.

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