9 Animals Of The Golf Kingdom

If you take the time to classify all animals in the golf kingdom, you quickly recognize that there are only 9 types of golfers in the entire world. Which type of golfer are you? The beer guzzling sloth, the outdoorsy gazelle, or the brute gorilla perchance?

1. THE TURTLE

Via fanpop.com

The dreaded turtle. It's hard to not have a round without bumping into one of them. They dawdle, they slowly drag their little turtle legs around. No amount of prodding will speed up the turtle. He's a turtle and he thinks it's his right to be one.

Don't be a turtle.

2. THE SHARK

Via pocketrangerblog.com

The Shark is not to be trifled with. She will tear you into little bits and then eat all the pieces. She knows her game is good and so does everybody else on the course. The Shark is usually a quiet player as she doesn't need to brag, she's got those teeth. She has zero need to tell you she's dangerous.

3. THE SLOTH

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You can spot the Sloth quite easily by his gear. He's hitting the links with a nice motorized golf cart and he'll definitely have a 6 pack of beer with him (more if the cart girl is slow). Golf is much more of a recreational sport to the Sloth than to the other animals. For him the game is about enjoying a beer, chatting with friends and getting to hit a couple good shots in the sun.

4. THE GORILLA

Via huffingtonpost.com

The Gorilla is big, bad, and hard to miss. You can tell right off the bat that the gorilla is going to huff and puff it's way through a round of golf. The Brutefish can probably drive 300+ yards and his swing looks more like he's swinging a sledgehammer than a golf club. Beware: the Gorilla is known to have a mighty temper. He might break his clubs, fly off into a blind rage, or even smash your little face when he misses a shot.

5. THE GAZELLE

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The Gazelle loves being outside in the open air. She gallops the course with pep in her step and soaks up every moment of the wonderful world of golf. She deigns carts and can't understand why anyone would use the monstrosities when the course offers such a wonderful opportunity for quiet contemplation and a nice little workout to boot.

6. THE DOLPHIN

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The Dolphin clearly loves the sport of golf. They are playful with their friends, have a graceful shot, and are great golf partners. During a match, Dolphins are known to have gumption and play hard throughout the day. The thing that most people forget about these majestic creatures is that they are carnivores. They can play the game and they can play it well. Enjoy their beauty, but beware their bite.

7. THE SQUIRREL

Via telegraph.co.uk

The Squirrel is a funny, flighty thing. You will see it on the course scampering all over the darn place. It will start on the tee box like the other animals, but quickly finds itself in the trees, playing in the rough, and even near the water hazards! That silly Squirrel. At times it seems that little guy is not even trying to get the ball in the hole.

8. THE HUMMINGBIRD

Via openingsacredspace.wordpress.com

The Hummingbird is an interesting creature. While it prefers the flowered areas of the rough and out of bounds areas, it is genetically evolved to be perfect in these situations. Hummingbirds can bounce shots off rocks, hit through trees without any issue, and can generally play any lie. Nature is a beautiful thing.

9. THE COBRA

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The Cobra is a deadly enemy and is not your friend. They lay in wait for you to relax your guard and then they strike with the speed of a thousand suns. (If a thousand suns can be considered fast that is.) These are the competitors that your mom warned you to be careful of. They exist and they will kill you.

10. FORE CAN HELP ALL OF THESE ANIMALS

Via hdrgolf.wordpress.com

Help create the world's best golf app that allows you to track your score, see how your friends are playing, and get a better look at your game. You'll also get to win prizes from the courses you love to play.

Check out the FORE Kickstarter.