1. Stuffed animals are no longer just stuffed animals:
They’re now awards.
2. Instead of saying “hello,” you’d rather say:
3. Ice isn’t just something you put in your drinks anymore:
ICE is a party planner.
9. Because, well:
There’s always money in the banana stand.
12. You’ve considered finding your own J. Walter Weatherman to teach somebody a lesson:
17. You’ve decided to become a professional twice over, an analyst and therapist:
22. Anybody named Ann:
26. You’ve actually tried visiting ImOscar.com:
It doesn’t work, but this is close: imstilloscar.com
28. You can never listen to “The Final Countdown” without thinking of Gob:
29. You’ve harbored a strong dislike toward seals:
Took Buster’s hand, dude, not cool.
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- The NFL has upheld Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈