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1. The 2 Cool for School Kid – "I've only been to class twice a week, but the teacher doesn't even care because I buy him coffee"
2. The Dumb but Sweet Jock – "I thought drinking coffee was supposed to make me smart and understand things"
3. The Overachiever – "AP stands for Advanced Procrastinator"
4. The Drama Kid – "My mom tells me that I will be a starving hobo when I grow up"
5. The Rich Kid – "My parents bought me two cars when I got my license, a convertible and a normal sedan"
6. The Stoner – "I told my mom that my red eyes were from studying really late"
7. The Faux Hipster – "My glasses don't even have a prescription. They're from Forever 21"
8. The Cat Lover – "I've accepted that I will die alone in my SF apartment with 23 cats"
9. The Physics Nerd – "Just for fun, I calculated the speed at which time will pass if electromagnetic forces doubled in helium atoms"
10. The Heavy Partier – "Sorry for puking in your closet. I'll try not to do that again. Really sorry"
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