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1. You’ve never seen her walking around your house
2. She doesn’t share a last name with anyone in your immediate family
3. You have never seen her in person
4. She lives somewhere no one in your family has ever been to
5. She resembles none of your physical characteristics except maybe race and sex
6. She is not your friend on facebook
7. She’s probably seen pictures of people who look like you, but has never brought you up upon seeing them
8. There’s nothing stopping her from yelling at you if you were to cut her off when driving
9. You have a gut feeling she’s never been to one of your family gatherings
10. The thought of her does not bring about a warm familiarity
11. You can name most if not all people that actually are a relative of yours
12. She hasn’t done anything extra nice for you
13. She’s not so big on birthdays, but still never calls when it’s your birthday
14. There has to be something stopping her from ever feeling like you have affected her life
15. Rosie O'Donnell is not related to anybody
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