16 Top Tips For The Worst Parents Ever

These parenting suggestions from the parody account @PinterestFake are almost as insane as the actual Pinterest.

1. “Hide cookies in your baby’s crib to motivate you to visit your baby during the day.”

ID: 1106836

2. “Play Beethoven into your womb loudly enough to ensure your child will also be born a deaf genius.”

ID: 1106797

3. “Use a giant mason jar as a toddler toilet.”

ID: 1106846

4. “Is your child an allergy angel? Tattoo ‘Peanut Allergy’ on their sweet, fragile forehead to make sure no one mistakes them for a normal.”

ID: 1106848

5. “Make allergy friendly Pea-NOT Butter using a blender and some wet phonebooks.”

ID: 1107613

6. “Use a laser-pointer so your vegan children can chase cruelty-free ‘fireflies.’”

ID: 1106868

7. “Buy But You Might Die, Sweet One—a children’s book to teach your 7-year-old the dangers of you not breastfeeding him.”

ID: 1106919

8. “Make a cute hand-crocheted escape ladder so your children don’t burn in their beds.”

ID: 1106961

9. “DIY a bedazzled pacifier for your teething diva.”

ID: 1107572

10. “Feed your baby Nutella so all that comes out is delicious-smelling warm Nutella.”

ID: 1107081

11. “Fun Craft Project: stuff an old shirt & pants w/ straw & a blank paper plate face where kids can paint what they think their dad looks like.”

ID: 1107099

12. “Keep your baby’s fashion glasses in place by putting a drop of molten wax behind both their ears.”

ID: 1107586

13. “Save your placenta for a fun, life-affirming surprise in your child’s 5th birthday pinata.”

Stephen Coburn/Shutterstock
ID: 1107527

14. “Help your teen rebel safely with organic homemade cigarettes.”

ID: 1107126

15. “Never lose memories! Keep a photo album with a picture of your daughter in the bathtub every day from her first bath to the bath her father gives her before her wedding.”

ID: 1107141

16. “Teach bullies to knit! Problem solved.”

ID: 1107145

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