The 19 Most Annoying Things About Being Vegan
Trust me, I am one. Sometimes it’s just as tiresome for us as it is for everyone else.
1. People who pronounce it “vaygun.”
Vaygun sounds like we came to Earth from the planet Vega. Which…actually, now that sounds kind of cool. Keep on saying that, grandmas who say “vaygun.” We can’t stay mad at you.
2. Everyone you know is suddenly a nutrition expert.
Seriously with this protein thing.
3. Suboptimal fake meats
Let’s be honest — there are some truly fantastic vegan alternatives out there…but we’re not 100% there yet.
4. The vegan option at a restaurant is ALWAYS a wrap.
Ah, wraps. I dimly remember — roughly 10,000 wraps ago — when I used to not HATE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR.
5. The vegan option at a wedding is ALWAYS grilled vegetables.
I don’t want to seem ungrateful, and I’m certainly not going to complain, but that looks like A LOT of zucchini. Is all. Whatever, forget it. Thank you for inviting me to your wedding and for providing a vegan option when you didn’t have to. I am a terrible person. I take this one back.
6. And let’s not even talk about continental breakfast at a hotel…
Free breakfast sounds sooooo good until you realize that literally the only thing you can eat is hash browns with a side of hash browns, with a black coffee. Yes, fine – also a fruit cup. But, like, this is a secret and don’t tell anyone, but vegans feel pretty much the same way about fruit cups as everyone else does.
7. Getting constantly trapped under the weight of your own logic…
…and having to be like, “Yes, true. OK, that is a great point, but also…remember how this all began with me just politely turning down the cheese dip? YOU STARTED THIS NIGHTMARE CONVERSATION. You just forgot that you did.” GODDAMN IT, CHELSEA.
8. Secretly finding this funny.
Sometimes a good burn is just a good burn.
10. Getting lumped in with the gluten-free people.
For Christ’s sake, it’s already hard enough!!!
12. No, seriously. The “vegan at a dinner party” joke.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, VEGANS.
13. People saying stuff like this and thinking they’ve vanquished you with their genius.
“Oh no, I have been defeaaaaated. I would like to formally apologize for initiating this discussion by asking the waiter to hold the cheese on my veggie burger. Please immediately begin force-feeding me hard-boiled eggs until I explode under the weight of my own contradictions. It’s all I deserve.”
16. People who don’t know peanut butter doesn’t have butter and coconut milk doesn’t have milk.
17. Being called a hypocrite if you feed your pet meat, and crazy if you don’t.
18. Other Vegans
Ugh — other vegans are THE WORST. Who talks like this???
19. And, finally…the comment section for every article ever written about veganism.
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Emily G. 3 months agoI don’t have a problem with vegans and vegetarians in general. Your body, your diet. I just have an issue with unprovoked lecture attacks. Just like you know what you’re doing, I know what I’m doing. No one likes to be jumped on for things they do when it’s not hurting anyone. Also OMNIVORE not strictly carnivore. Don’t call me a carnivorist, don’t call me “blood mouth”. I eat things other than meat. I like grains, I like vegetables and fruits. I don’t strictly eat meat, so don’t talk to me like I do. As long as you don’t fuck with me about what I eat, I won’t fuck with you.
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pattytybroskiwahleb 3 months agoMy rabid vegan friend breaks bones all the time! But, blames it on the store, curb, snow, rain, never her food habits. Her 6 cats eat canned MEAT! Go figure!
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juanorfrankie 3 months agoI can’t stand vegans just like religious people throwing that shit in people’s face, keep it to yourself!
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FlickMontana 3 months agoNah, I only turn on the television when I have a need to be extra outraged and insulted. Consequently, I don’t.
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rgrogers42 3 months ago
I don’t like a lot of vegans I’ve met for the same reason I don’t like a lot of religious people I’ve met. Simply, they feel that their lifestyle makes them better than you, and I hate listening to their self righteous bullshit about harming animals blah blah. I eat meat, get over it, you dont, I get it.
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burb 3 months agoThe bottom line is vegans are privileged people. If they try to tell people this is the right way to live then they are arrogant to the world outside them selves. Do they under stand there are parts of the world that have 8+ months winter? Canada as an example, what did people do before grocery stores? It really isn’t a long enough period for evolution to matter. What good is vegetation there? Do they understand that parts of the world are too dry, with not enough precipitation and can’t produce enough vegetation? It really is a no brainer, and those who chose it that’s fine and have nothing against them, but understand your privileged and have the right, and respect that right, and dont abuse it. There is a lot of places where the only option is animals. If the treatment of animals is an issue, hunt your own meat. Evolution didn’t happen in the last century, our ability to market produce did.
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natelyswhore 3 months ago
I’m not vegan, but I agree with you in terms of vegans who are solely against meat and the eating of animals just for consumption worldwide. However, I thought most vegans were against the treatment of the animals for mass-produced “grocery store” meat/dairy.. Could be wrong.
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pattis5 3 months agoReally??
8+ months of winter in Canada?? Yep, it’s hard to find vegetables in our frozen tundra, too bad we didn’t have some kind of successful farming industry, or farmers market or something…
Talk about being “arrogant to the world outside themselves”
Also, the whole point of being vegan is that we DON’T consider ourselves “privileged” or so much more important than another animal that we have the right to end their life for our own enjoyment.
Before you start making sweeping generalizations or accusations, do a little research and get informed.
PS. I’ll let you in on a little secret…. animals need to eat too… so chances are, if there are animals around for you to slaughter, then there is probably some sort of edible plant source available too. -
dominiqueelisep 2 months agoI am a vegan who travels to 3rd world countries a lot. I DO consider it a privilege to be vegan. The fact that I can get vegan chicken sandwiches and smoothies any time of year is beyond privilege. The western world has so many privileges. I was raised by a single mom who could not afford to buy healthy vegan food for me when I was 8yrs old and wanted to be vegetarian. Now I can afford to follow my heart. Everyone has a path and this is mine. I am so glad that one of my privileges affords me the opportunity to stand for the things I believe in and not just fight and work for survival alone, like so many people do. Not to mention most third world countries you visit depend on grains and legumes more than animals to sustain their diet, because over there meat is the privilege. I actually have more trouble being vegan in Spain than in Kenya or Nicaragua.
I guess the question is if you eat meat is it because there is no other way you’d survive or because you just like eating meat and don’t want to give it up? There is no wrong answer I just think we should all be clear on why we feel the way we feel about other peoples choices, when they are choices. -
xwhyintercepts 2 months ago
privileged people also donate time and money to charitable causes, but that probably makes their efforts invalid .. riight. look i’m not knocking on doors recruiting single moms on part-time paychecks to break the bank on seitan sandwiches, but tofu is eaten throughout the world as soy is very cheap. beans, nuts, veggies, almond/rice milks tend to be cheaper than dairy and meat products.
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Stacie2Wheeler 3 months ago
Why harp on people because of the food they eat? I’m sure they do tons of other things that are way more annoying, but get totally ignored.
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Thom 3 months agoYou don’t like grilled zucchini? I love grilled zucchini! Especially with steak (obligatory annoying comment.) I’m fairly sure this is how most omnivores feel: I don’t give a rip if you’re vegan, or just vegetarian, or pescaterian, or madeupatarian. I’m just annoyed when vegans start bothering me.
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shellyv2 3 weeks agoAbout #5: I’m mostly carnivorous (and quite happy, thanks), but I knew that some of my guests were raw vegans, so I made sun-baked curry tofu cakes with a spicy peanut/coconut milk sauce for them, and decorative bags of nuts, seeds and exotic fruit I’d dried myself. I don’t do boring.
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porcuse 3 months ago
i realize that a lot of meat eaters and omnivores can be critical of vegans, but that’s because most of us’ only experiences with vegans and vegetarians is being told we’re murderers or just plain being judged for our own choices to still eat meat or dairy. there are tons of vegans and vegetarians at my college and maybe 10% of them aren’t judgy and pretentious about it. sorry, but there are assholes on both sides. but when people are running around throwing paint on people for wearing fur and bombarding you with vegan propaganda constantly you’re going to get a little jaded and annoyed. blame peta and all the legions of other vegans you hate so much that you clearly are nothing like at all (btw, most every pretentious vegan doesn’t realize it at all, so you very well could be one too). yes, there are some people who will just attack you or put meat in your food just because you’re a vegan. that’s not everyone, that’s just a select few douche bags. avoid them like the rest of us do because i’m sure fellow omnivores hate them just as much as you do.
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annetter3 3 months agoMost vegans: “Abortion is a woman’s right to CHOOSE!” (even though the unborn child has a beating heart from 42 days after conception and can feel pain). Most vegans: “Its MURDER to eat an animal, or to use them in any way! Its not a choice to eat animals!” Anyone see the hypocrisy there? Me too.
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GonzoMcFonzo 3 months ago
No one’s mentioned it (actually they have, but whatever) because it’s a non-factor. There are lots of unhealthy vegans out there, because simply cutting out non-vegan food isn’t enough. You’ll have all sorts of vitamin and mineral difficencies if you’re not careful. Meanwhile, the vast majority of healthy people out there are not vegan.
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