1. Be weird. Be different. And if possible be brown and cute and furry.
2. Dessert tastes best when you really throw yourself into it.
4. Spooning’s all well and good, but the best way to cuddle while you sleep is with a Backwards Full-Extension Wraparound.™
7. Don’t sit on anyone unless they seem like they’re OK with it.
8. If anyone ever asks you why you’re rolling around in sidewalk chalk, give them the withering look they deserve.
10. Sitting on a park bench and thinking about your own mortality is never quite as fun as you think it’s going to be.
11. Call dibs on the best bed and don’t feel bad about it.
24. Don’t forget to fill your life with things you really like a lot.
25. If you’ve never fashioned a life-size replica of yourself out of your own hair, you haven’t lived.
26. The absolute best thing in the entire world is curling up with a good book.
27. But curling up on a good puppy is also quite pleasant, weirdly.
28. An unexpected cuddle can be surprising but you should probably just go with it.
31. Find someone who looks like they know where they’re going, and follow them.
- Planned Parenthood officials said they believed Friday's shooting at a Colorado Springs clinic was motivated by opposition to abortion. ›
- World leaders will meet in Paris starting Monday to discuss a potential global climate change agreement. ›
- "Victor Frankenstein" joined the ranks of 2015 films that opened in more than 2,000 North American theaters, but earned less than $4 million on opening weekend. ›