1. You must read the whole post.
2. If at any point you squeal with delight, you lose the game. This includes saying “Squee” or “Aww,” or sighing heavily.
3. Your ovaries may not at any point explode, metaphorically or literally. (If the latter, seek IMMEDIATE medical help).
OK, let’s do this thing!
1. OK, first off watch this quick video about tough love. This should be pretty easy to get through without saying “Awwww,” because while the animals in it are very cute indeed, they are also judging you, which counteracts the effect somewhat.
We interrupt this video program to bring you a parliament of owls who think a stuffed animal is their mom.
OK, quiz time. PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO GET THIS WRONG. Which kind of animal looks best in a box?
D: This family of kittens
If you answered E, give yourself an extra point. All of the other animals in boxes were trying too hard.
OK, let’s pause for a QUICK cat nap, and then back to work.
I hope you are rested up now, because it’s time for …
THE LIGHTNING ROUND!
The rules of the lightning round are very simple.
1. You will be shown a series of pictures depicting everyday occurrences.
2. Look at each picture in succession and describe to yourself what it depicts.
3. Check your own answer against the answer in the caption below.
4. DO NOT SAY “Awwww.”
Answer: A small kitten whose serious expression is mitigated somewhat by what appears to be a toy giraffe surrounding her.
17. Have a gander at this wiener dog chilling out in a shark sleeping bag.
18. Take in the sight of this family of owls who are shopping for a new apartment.
19. Marvel at this feline in a box fort who is king of all he surveys.
21. Contemplate this kitten who is brave enough to confront a shadow.
22. Gaze upon this hedgie who fell asleep with her best friend, a raspberry.
24. And take a quick moment to wave back at this seal who’s just saying “Hey.”
OK, we are almost done here, but first it’s time for a quick Boop Break.*
*A Boop Break is a short period of time during which you break for boops. You’ll get the hang of it.
Now we’re ready for the FINAL section.
If you haven’t said “Awww” or any of the standard “Awww”-equivalents like “Squee” or “Eeeeeek!” yet and you manage to stay unaffected through to the end, then you win. OK, deep breath, because it’s time for the Animals with Stuffed Animals round. The rules are simple:
1. Look at the animal with the stuffed animal.
2. Don’t say “Awww.”