New photos from season three of Game of Thrones have been released and, needless to say, there’s a lot of distant glances and forlorn looks being thrown around.
To prep for the March 31 premiere, we’ve got the ultimate guide to replicating the faces from the new photos below. (Make sure to share photos of yourself nailing these if you’ve got ‘em!)
1. The “We’re going to need a bigger Night’s Watch” face
What it’s useful for: Communicating that you are definitely not OK with the way things are going, and complaining without actually saying a word.
How to replicate: Channel disgust with beady eyes and a touch of horror with a slightly opened mouth. Also, maybe wear a faux fur, if you have one lying around.
2. The “Oh, you think I drink too much? Is that right?” face
What it’s useful for: Subtly terrifying everyone around you, and effectively ceasing their questions about your alcoholism.
How to replicate: Look at the person next to you as if they’re so pitiful that it’s actually fascinating.
3. The “Jon Snow L’Oreal” face, because he’s worth the wait
What it’s useful for: Sending out the signal that you’re a virgin, and attracting redheaded wildlings who double as temptresses.
How to replicate: Channel all of your sexual frustration into your face, basically.
4. The “Are you still talking?” face
What it’s useful for: When you want to tell someone you give zero fucks, and seducing your brother, Jaime.
How to replicate: Don’t go method on this one, just pout your lips, look regal, and blink a lot so that the other person knows you haven’t a care in the Seven Kingdoms.
5. The “I told you boy, I’m not a southerner” face
What it’s useful for: Seducing men named Theon, silencing whiny princelings, manipulating powerful southern families, and sneaking off into the wilderness.
How to replicate: Pretend that everyone around you is not to be trusted and frown as hard as you can until it’s actually sexy. (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have already perfected this look.)
6. The “I’m a golden god!!!” face
What it’s useful for: Intimidating peasants, inciting the wrath of your imp uncle, making your virgins weep for mercy.
How to replicate: Smirk tightly, as if you’re the product of inbreeding and can’t control your facial expressions, while holding a heavy crossbow.