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The 17 Most Shocking Moments From The "Game Of Thrones" Premiere

Warning: Delicious spoilers ahead.

1. When Sam was almost killed by a hatchet-wielding zombie, then shamed for neglecting to send ravens.

His one job!!!

2. When Jon Snow saw giants for the first time, and it was delicious.

Incidentally, I had the same reaction.

3. When Cersei visited Tyrion’s prison cell and said the following:

4. And Tyrion had this badass response.

5. When I realized Stannis Baratheon’s man slave was still alive, and I also didn’t care.

Just being honest. Sorry, Davos Seaworth!

6. When Robb Stark traveled to Harrenhal and found 200 dead men waiting for him.

On the bright side, Robb, you’ve still got that hot nurse wifey as a consolation!

Hot nurse! Yes! Hot nurse! Perk up!

8. When Lord Baelish spoke to Sansa and revealed that Arya’s still alive.

Sisters!!!

9. When we saw Daenerys’ dragons for the first time.

10. And one of them cooked a fish with its mouth.

11. Good dragon! That’s a good dragon!

12. When Joffrey was carried around town in a Lady Gaga-esque egg.

13. When Margaery tried to be a civil human being.

14. And Cersei was just like, “Nah, bitch.”

15. When Daenerys managed to stay totally calm as that random soldier’s nipple was sliced off. Ouch.

16. And when a demon child gave Daenerys a poisonous scorpion to play with.

But the real question is this: Where can I get a pet dragon?

Oh, and I also can’t wait until next week’s episode. Anyone else excited for this season of Game of Thrones?

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