Meet Sygmond The Grey, a truly majestic cat from the northern lands of Legendary Maine.
When Sygmond runs, it's more of a gallop.
And it's majestic as all fuck.
You might think that Sygmond The Grey is constantly in a wind tunnel, but you'd be wrong.
Instead, his very presence creates a sonic blast that churns the air in a beautiful swirl around him.
Causing each and every moment of his life to be fiercely photogenic.
Whether he be gazing onto his kingdom from the quiet of a makeshift window.
Or intimidating subjects into doing his bidding.
It will always remain a sublime thing to behold.
Oh, sure, Sygmond's had his derpier moments.
And the occasional sourpuss mood.
But those are rare and quickly vanquished with a swift flick of his luscious tail.
Because, after all, this is Sygmond The Grey.
A cat who makes the gorgeous flowers bloom beneath his paw.
A cat for whom the sun shines, even when it's well into the evening.
A cat who dares to grace us all with his regal ubiquity.
And terrifies lesser beings with his raw allure!
Hells bells, I'm short of breath from beholding him for this long.
My heart has never run so rapidly... Quick! Someone call an ambulance before I...
Nope. It's too late. I've died of happiness.
