Rob Delaney was voted “The Funniest Person on Twitter” at Comedy Central last year, and it’s true.
1. But he’s also about to be a published author, and here’s the cover of Delaney’s book to prove it.
Yes, friends, an actual book that you can preorder now — or buy in a store when it goes on sale Nov. 5, 2013.
“I did a tweet a while back that was mocking people’s social media bios, like on Facebook or Twitter,” Delaney said of the subtitle. “Like a famous actor, in their descriptions put something like, ‘Father. Storyteller. Woodworker. Student of life.’ People really did that, and it makes my molars explode. Because that’s ridiculous, dude, you’re an actor,” he said, laughing. “So the subtitle is a play on somebody’s inflated sense of self, imagining that anyone should possibly care — which they very much shouldn’t. So that’s me, trying to take a little air out of people’s self-importance by naming my navel-gazing memoir that title. So, hopefully that title will let people know immediately that I’m a very ridiculous person, in every negative and positive sense of the word.”
2. Reading this book is like going on a non-murdery adventure with Delaney.
When I asked Delaney why people should buy his book, he said, “If you enjoy this guy’s sandwiches, do you want to eat at his restaurant? If you enjoyed the ice cream cone he gave you, would you like to come to his salon and have him give you a pedicure with his sure hands? Basically, like, if my tweets are the tip of the iceberg, it would be like, ‘Do you want to go in my ice chest?’ Not in a murdery way, but in a fun, exploring together way.”
3. He’s BFFs with a Booker Prize-winning author, so chances are he’s picked up a few writing tips from her:
Or he at least knows how to read…right?
4. The book will delve into his struggle with depression, but in a way that’s at least merely “very interesting.”
The comedian has been extremely forthcoming about his own struggles with depression, and said, “The book is absolutely autobiographical from start to finish. I do go into that [his struggle with depression], but not on a ‘Let me take you on a journey’ manner. It’s not like, ‘Hold my hand for this painful dirge.’ Hopefully the worst parts of the book are merely ‘very interesting’ and the bulk of it is ‘very interesting and funny.’”
5. If Delaney has learned one thing about writing a book, it’s that horrible metaphors abound.
“Basically soldier through, you know, take care of yourself,” Delaney said about advice for writers. “Exercise and eat well. It’s analogous to a military campaign, or being terribly ill, or something like that. Any horrible metaphors you can think of.”
6. Every story in the book is funny, interesting, AND salon-ready.
“My criteria for including a story in the book was simply, ‘Is this funny AND interesting?’ If it wasn’t both, it didn’t make the book. I was also careful to omit any stories where my hair didn’t look like I had just stepped out of a salon.”
7. Books trump Twitter every time.
“A tweet is like a sandwich, and a book is like a house, you know?” Delaney said. “They’re both cool, but as far as the survival triangle of durability, strength, and necessity, a book just destroys Twitter. We’ve been reading books for thousands of years, and Twitter will be lucky if it’s relevant for eight years.”
8. Delaney wrote the book at home and also while on the road.
“The bulk of the book — probably 50% — was written in my home and 50% was written in the local coffee shop,” Delaney said.
9. “I wrote personally — without assistance — every syllable, and every word.”
And Delaney says that, “The lion’s share of it is stuff that has not been seen elsewhere before.”
10. One of the biggest challenges of writing the book was that it was a “lonely” process.
“It’s lonely to write a book,” he said. “And as a stand-up, I’m used to people immediately either clapping and laughing, or saying, ‘How dare you waste my brain space with your terrible joke, you monster.’ And I really had gotten used to that. So writing a book was a lonely endeavor.”
11. “From getting the book deal to delivering the final, finished, corrected proof, it was just under two years.”
“But I did stop work a couple of times to work on other projects,” Delaney admitted. “Like writing pilots, and stuff like that, writing with partners.”
12. Plus, the book will be sprinkled with the best of Delaney’s tweets, so you’ll get gems like this:
- [A Harris County, Texas, sheriff's deputy was ambushed Friday night when a man walked up and repeatedly shot him from behind. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/sheriffs-deputy-shot-dead-in-ambush-at-texas-gas-station)
- [Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/at-least-5-people-are-missing-after-tropical-storm-erika-thr)
- [Police are investigating the death of Jamycheal Mitchell, who was arrested months ago in Virginia for allegedly stealing about $5 worth of groceries. He was found dead in his jail cell last week. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/black-man-held-for-months-for-stealing-5-worth-of-snacks-fou)