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27 Reasons Why You Should Not Get A Cat

The real terrorists are closer than you ever imagined.

2. They also destroy Christmas.

3. They will scratch your eyeballs out.

4. Cats will scare the bejeezus out of you for “fun.”

5. Like, really scare you.

How did you even find a way in there!?

6. They’ll eat all of your cold cuts!

9. They won’t let you properly wipe, because they can’t.

11. Cats think they belong on counters.

But they don’t…

12. They will eat your children!!!

13. Cats will pee all over your panty parade.

14. And then they’ll poop on your life.

15. Cats hate turquoise drapes.

16. They’ll sneak onto your computer and read your personal emails!

17. Cats think potted plants are for pussies.

18. Cats hate clean clothes.

19. Because they can’t stand not being the center of attention.

Cute leopard dress, though!

20. They like to pull terrifying pranks.

21. This is how a cat drinks milk.

Seriously? Seriously.

22. This is how a cat looks when it’s wet.

Foul.

23. They’re prone to alcoholism.

24. Cats are trying to kill you every moment of every day.

25. No, seriously, they want you dead.

26. And they’ll make it look like an accident.

27. SERIOUSLY, CATS ARE DANGEROUS AND NOT TO BE TRUSTED!

Terrorists!

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