23 Steps To Becoming Tony Stark

It’s not easy being a billionaire, genius, superhero, but I’ll show you how! posted on

1. So, you want to be a badass billionaire who pretty much saves America on the regular? Here are a few crucial steps you’ll need to take:

2. Step 1: Remember that the only person who has great ideas is you.

So don’t listen to any of the other haters. Unless Pepper Potts has an idea, she’s usually pretty solid for those.

3. Step 2: Keep refusing to listen to what anyone else has to say, basically.

4. Step 3: Buy an amazing pair of shades that have dramatic effect when you take them off.

Make sure to practice plenty of shocked-shade-removals before purchasing.

5. Step 4: Buy a fierce car with a lot of horsepower.

You need that so you can peel out of hot spots at a moments notice.

6. Step 5: Become a paparazzi magnet.

Whether it’s just through a lavish life style, or your sexual escapades—just give the media what they want to keep them interested.

7. Step 6: Establish that you’re a big enough badass to get in trouble with the law, but you WILL always get out of it.

8. Step 7: Embrace your inner genius.

9. Step 8: Use that genius to create technology that will help you know everything about anything, basically.

10. Step 9: Also use that genius to create a bevy of specialized suits that are epic in every sense of the word.

Your math and computer science skills will come in ESPECIALLY handy here.

11. Step 10: Choose your color palettes wisely—the world will be judging you.

12. Step 11: Test out the machinery.

13. Step 12: If you haven’t added this feature, then make sure it can fly.

14. Step 13: Take a cheeseburger break, you’ve earned it!

15. Step 14: Wash that American burger down with some aged scotch.

16. Step 15: If anyone starts to question you, make sure to put them in their rightfully inferior place.

17. Step 16: Remember that haters are gonna hate, but you know exactly what you’re doing.

18. Step 17: Pick friends wisely, and preferably with a mutually beneficial cause.

19. Step 18: Also pick a badass girlfriend to come along for the ride.

Or, in the case of Iron Man 3 to help your ass in a tough spot.

20. Step 19: Blow up some shit if you have to.

21. Step 20: Be humble.

22. Step 21: But pat yourself on the back if you’ve really earned it.

23. Step 22: Never forget your true passion for being an ingenious engineer.

24. Step 23: Basically be the most badass hero ever.

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