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13 Moments When Betty Draper Didn’t Give A F%$k

Or should we say, Betty Francis? Either way, it’s not just boys having all the fun on Mad Men. posted on

1. When Betty cougared out with creepy Glen.

Season 1, Episode 4


What makes it badass: Age ain’t nothing but a number to Betty! And while we aren’t saying that Betty is attracted to a 10 year old, we are going to state the facts: Glen told Betty she’s beautiful, “like a princess,” and her response is to gift him with a lock of her hair. That beats Demi and Ashton any day.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how many fucks did she give?: 1. If only because it was her new friend’s kid.

Should you try this one at home: Probably not, cougaring is strictly for professional badasses and the ladies of Cougar Town.

2. Which led Betty to give Helen Bishop a firm dose of palm.

Season 1, Episode 7


What makes it badass: Even though Helen, Glen’s mom, was totally in the right to call Betty out on her cougaring, Betty fired back with a slap. A hard slap. In public. Where people could see her.

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

Should you try this one at home: If the sitch calls for a slap, then slap away, Betty protégés!

3. When Betty took aim at her neighbor’s pigeons mid smoke.

Season 1, Episode 9


What makes it badass: Aside from the fact that she can aim and shoot while keeping a lit cigarette in her mouth? Yeah, that’s pretty much all you need to know.

How many fucks did she give?: 0

Should you try this at home: Probably not, unless you want to end up in jail or invoke PETAs wrath.

4. When Betty molested a washing machine.

Season 1, Episode 11


What makes it badass: Remember when you felt kinda bad for Betty, because her husband is cheating all over the place and she never gets any? This is a moment when Betty takes matters into her own hands, so to speak, and cozies up to a vibrating washing machine.

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

Should you try this one at home: How else are you going to spend all that free time between unloading and folding?!

5. When Betty stands up to Don, goes to bed drunk and wakes up looking like a sad clown.

Season 2, Episode 8


What makes it badass: If ever there was a time to root for Betty, it’s when she finally admits to herself—and Don—that she’s not so naïve. After a client dinner party, she confesses that she knows the kind of man Don is. (Hint: It’s the cheating kind of man!).

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

6. When Betty had a one night stand.

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Season 2, Episode 13


What makes it badass: Betty has just discovered that she’s pregnant and instead of buying a new bassinet, she trolls a bar and finds a random guy to bone.

How many fucks did she give?: 1. If only because they make it in a public place and there’s a chance of being caught.

Should you try this one at home: No comment.

7. When she went to Italy and looked like this.

Season 3, Episode 8


What makes it badass: Not only are Betty and Don in Italy, but she’s in Italy looking like this. Note the enormous bouffant, the plunging neckline, and the don’t give a fuck face. She ends up flirting with two Italians in their native tongue while Don watches. It was a fantastic move, and Don thought so too.

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

Should you try this one at home: Ummm, duh.

8. When Betty asked Don for a divorce.

Season 3, Episode 13


What makes it badass: This was a shining example of not only Betty’s change in character, but Don’s realization that his life was unraveling because of the mistakes he made. Even though he later accuses Betty of being a whore—on account of her shacking up with Henry Francis before the divorce—it was really Don’s ho tendencies that led to the marriage’s downfall. Plus, not many women asked for a divorce back then, making this a pretty bold move.

How many fucks did she give?: 3 (one for each of her children, maybe).

Should you try this one at home: Only if your husband is behaving like a Don and his good looks alone aren’t cutting it anymore. Or, ya know, any other good reason you see fit to get a divorce.

9. And when she took baby Eugene to Reno so she and Henry could be married.

Season 3, Episode 13


What makes it badass: This was an epic way to elope. Not only was Betty immediately jumping from the Draper ship into the Francis lifeboat, but she had to fly to Reno to make it legit. Fuck what everyone else thought, this lady was getting remarried to a silver fox.

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

Should you try this one at home: Luckily, you don’t have to! Divorce is way easier in 2013, just ask Britney Spears.

10. When Fat Betty squirted whip cream into her mouth straight from the can.

Season 5, Episode 9


What makes it badass: Hell, just look at that gif.

How many fucks did she give?: 0.

Should you try this one at home: We’re doing it right now.

Plus, anytime Betty did any of the following…

11. Whenever she gave one of these, “I give zero fucks” looks.

12. Whenever she drank and smoked at the same time.

13. And whenever she fell onto this fainting couch, because wouldn’t we all want to do the same?

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