1. Lesson 1: “It” gets terrifyingly big and all women should probably steer clear.
2. Lesson 2: Guys can get clingy after a hookup, so feel free to lay down the law.
3. Lesson 3: Your vagine is a magical garden, just looking for the right tool.
4. Lesson 4: Dancing on your bike with your friends is the best way to have fun and look fabosh.
5. Lesson 5: Be careful with your fertile mouth.
Seriously, don’t ever French kiss anyone!
6. Lesson 6: Brendan Fraser is wise and should have his own advice column.
He also peaked in this film.
7. Lesson 7: Always throw a punch to defend your friends.
8. Lesson 8: This is what it looks like when a boy has a crush on you.
9. Lesson 9: Everyone is effed, so stop worrying so much.
10. Lesson 10: Growing up is going to turn you into a cynical, hot version of yourself.
12. Lesson 12: Even if you’re not Roberta, you can still be a lucky bitch.
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