1.
Going to walk into McDonald's, gaze at the menu for an uncomfortable amount of time, then say to the cashier, "Tell me about your burgers"
2.
before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule
3.
[first day as a McDonald's cashier] welcome to Arby's you motherfucker
4.
One of McDonald's mascots is a guy who steals from McDonald's.
5.
giv a man a fish adn he'll say "wat is this i ordered a mcflurry" teach a man to fish adn he'll say "how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"
6.
[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style.
7.
"I'll take a vodka please." "Ma'am this is McDonalds." "Okay, make that a McVodka."
8.
Possible McDonald's slogan evolution next 20 yrs: i'm lovin' it -> im lovin it -> mm..lovin it -> mm...eat -> haha..mmm.. -> m.haha...yeh..m
9.
"Sorry I'm late for work but now that McDonald's serves breakfast all day I don't really have much of an incentive to wake up before 10 am."
10.
Badap bap bap baaaa, my stomach hurts! - The real McDonalds’ slogan
11.
I like McDonalds, because nobody judges you at McDonalds, because everyone there is already eating McDonald's.
12.
McDonalds actually does serve breakfast after 10:30 if u have a gun
13.
UK McDonald's to replace Happy Meal toys with children's books, plus extra napkins to catch all the tears.
14.
"Omg McDonald's is disgusting don't you know what they make their chicken out of??" Ma'am I've literally put my tongue in an asshole before
15.
McDonald's should start gearing ads toward their target audience: husky toddlers and seagulls.
16.
*at mcdonald's* ME: and one of the happy meal toys CASHIER: for a little boy or girl? ME: *sweating* ME: ... ME: ... ME: yes of course it is
17.
[McDonalds HQ] "boss I think I finally nailed our new slogan” ok let’s hear it "I’m Likin’ It" Fantastic work! I’m lovin’ it "holy shit"
18.
The receipt they give you at McDonalds is like a certificate of authenticity for your shame spiral
19.
[slides briefcase of money across the counter] "two big macs please" [opens briefcase to reveal $7]
20.
[campfire] me as a grandfather: when i was ur age, mcdonald's didnt sell 24/7 breakfast kids: huh? me: it ended at 10:30AM! *one kid cries*
21.
i dropped a chicken mcnugget and I've been on the floor of mcdonalds sobbing the lyrics to how to save a life by the fray for 2 hours
22.
Wife: can you believe some idiot robbed McDonald's for 2,000 chicken nuggets [filling kiddie pool with ranch dressing] unbelievable
23.
[Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?
24.
how to go on a date: 1. ask person on date 2. pick restaurant 3. not McDonalds 4. yes nuggets are great 5. ok maybe McDonalds this once
25.
ME: [eating McDonald’s] BYSTANDER: Hello, 911? Yeah there’s a guy down here eating a fucking restaurant