1. Bacon Sundae from Burger King
Land of the free, home of the meat-based ice cream sundae.
2. Double Down from KFC
Who has time for bread? Not Americans!
3. Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell
Because what happens if you crave tacos AND chips? Our forefathers didn’t fight for you to eat them separately!
4. Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich from Dunkin’ Donuts
Donuts aren’t doing their job if they don’t have breakfast foods sandwiched between them.
5. Beefy Nacho Burrito from Taco Bell
Sodium isn’t a right it’s a privilege.
6. Pizzabon from Cinnabon
Who says pizza can’t come on a cinnamon bun? Terrorists, that’s who.
7. Mtn Dew A.M. from Taco Bell
Europeans can keep their coffee. We’ve got MOUNTAIN DEW-MOSAS.
8. Fry Lovers Burger from Checkers/Rally
What, you expect me to put fries on my burger by MYSELF? I’d rather pay someone to do it for me.
9. Over Stuffed Pizza from Pizza Hut
It’s not American until it’s busting at the seams.
10. Memphis Burger from Carl’s Jr.
Meat on meat is the only way to eat meat.
11. Fudge-dipped Cheesecake on a Stick from White Castle
Forks are for fascists.
12. Garlic Bread Pizza from Pizza Hut
I’m pretty sure this is just called pizza, but in America you’re free to call it whatever you damn well please!
13. Chocolate Nachos from El Pollo Loco
“Nachos are cool and all but wouldn’t they be cooler if they were DESSERT?” —Ben Franklin.
14. Chicken Rings from White Castle
This is an important development in fried chicken: now you’re less likely to choke if you shove these rings down your throat. You know, because they have holes…
15. Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from Friendly’s
Have you ever been so hungry that you were like, “Man, I could go for, like, two grilled cheeses AND a burger”? No? What, are you French?
16. Bacon Shake from Jack-in-the-Box
If you’re too lazy to eat bacon, now you can suck it down through a straw like God intended.
17. Stuffed Steakhouse Burger from Burger King
Cheese IN the burger because…SCIENCE, THAT’S WHY!
18. Pasta Bread Bowl from Domino’s
CARBSCARBCARBS! That way we’ll have more energy for FREEDOM!
19. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap from Sonic
What, do you expect me to eat my chili cheese wrap WITHOUT Fritos like a goddamn neanderthal?
20. Pancake Sausage Bites from Dunkin’ Donuts
This better come with a swimming pool of syrup, otherwise what’s the point?
21. Fried Cheese Melt from Denny’s
Grilled cheese is cool and all but it’s GRILLED. This way you can eat a grilled cheese without sacrificing that amazing fried factor.
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