1. Meet the 2013 Oakland A’s. Oakland: Where a Cuban defector can become a Home Run Derby champion.
2. Where a 27-year-old third baseman who’s never played a full season and is scared of curveballs can become a legit MVP candidate.
That’s Josh Donaldson.
3. Whose right-fielder has an arm that would make Tom Emanski’s palms sweat.
And that’s Josh Reddick.
4. And who celebrates like this.
5. They’ve hit the most home runs in baseball since the All-Star break.
6. And their pitching rotation is anchored by an incredibly tubby, scientifically enhanced 40-year-old.
7. The 2013 Oakland A’s are a team whose rotted barn of a stadium can make overflowed sewage a national story.
Just another day at the Coliseum. Sewage mess still being cleaned up in A’s dugout
9. But that’s why you keep the garden hose nearby, for both cleanup and division title celebrations.
10. These A’s are a team that hazes rookies by dressing them up as superheroes and TV characters.
Thanks to @JaneMLB, Sonny Gray makes a good Robin. Sadly, no Batman.
Winner winner! Nate Freiman as Marge Simpson
13. These Oakland A’s are run by Billy Beane, who still resembles his 1999 self.
15. $2 Wednesdays are the best-kept secret in the Bay Area.
16. These A’s have won 90-plus games in back-to-back seasons and are poised to (maybe, finally, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY) make their first World Series since 1990.
It’d be a great moment for their crazy hardcore fans and a validation for sabermetricians everywhere.